A slap in the face with a wet tail

I was walking my human last night (she needs a fair amount of exercise) when I met a Heinz dog.

I.E. A dog with at least 57 different varieties in there somewhere.  He was a big chap, with the body of a greyhound, the face of one of those wee terriers (I'd have liked to seen that coupling) and the tail of a large labrador.

And it was the tail that was the problem.

Let me explain a bit more.

This was the friendliest woofer (other than meself) I have ever come across.  His face was one big smile, he bounced rather than walked and he even went straight to my human when she didn't have any biscuits.  More fool him, if you ask me.

'Hullo' I says to meself, 'here's a fellow I can be friends with'.  So I went to give him my usual  handshake - that is to shove me nose towards his bottom, whilst he did the same to me.

And that's where the problems started.  I couldn't get anywhere near it.  While he was being generally very freindly and saying 'hello' to me all I got was SWISH - THWACK.

That powerful tail swiped me a good 'un across the nose.  I tried again: SWISH - THWACK.  Right across me bows again!

So I gave up, turned tail and wee'd on a bush instead.

We walked on a bit with me human looking quizically at me.  'You could have made a good friend there,' she said.  And she was probably right.

I wonder, in business, how many opportunities to do business, make and receive referrals and generally get a wider reputation in the market place, are missed because we limit our marketing activities to only those businesses which are exactly like us... in my case, a wonderfully handsome, if somewhat curly, labradoodle?

It could be that even a slight expansion of your business circle to include people and businesses who are 'different' could do wonders for your business.

I've certainly resolved to be more resilient when I meet other woofers... although I have to admit, that tail was a right nasty piece of work.

If someone barks at you, bark back...

I was down the pub the other night having a cold and refreshing beer.


Well, if I’m entirely honest, my human was having a refreshing beer and I was having a slightly muddy, warm and refreshing bowl of water.

Bit unfair if you ask me, but there you are; it’s not his fault if he has to drink that muck.

It was about eight o’clock and we were sitting in the beer garden because they wouldn’t let me go inside (again unfair) and three likely lads came walking down the path. One of them thought it would be hilarious to bark at me.

Well, what could I do?

I let rip with the manliest bark I could muster and, although I say so meself, it was pretty impressive. In fact, I would go so far to say that it was booming. It was so impressive that the bloke looked as though he was about to sh... well, let’s just say he looked pretty scared. A fact confirmed by his mate when th. likely lads came over to talk to us later.

(One of them stood a bit further back than the others, it has to be said!)

So what? What’s this got to do with business?

Me other human thought it had a direct relevance. Sometimes when you do things, it has unexpected consequences. When Richard asked her what the hell she was running on about on a Saturday night and did she want another glass of wine she went on to explain...

If you do things without really thinking them through, sometimes other things you didn’t expect happen as a direct result. For example, says she, how about the time when Richard had been trying to for weeks to sell to that customer and he got fed up with them constantly stalling. He called them and asked, all blunt like, ‘Do you want to go ahead, or what?’

Guess what.

Nope you’re quite wrong.

They said ‘yes’ and they’d been meaning to call for a few days!

Ah!

Of course, it was good news, but Richard, the fool, had been expecting a ‘no’ and hadn’t been planning to deliver this piece of work. He had to do a bit of scrambling (all behind the scenes) to actually deliver what he had promised.

And the moral of the story?

It could be about planning what you’re actually going to say or do as far as possible so you can remain in control of your business... but it’s not.

It’s: never bark at me in a pub garden, ‘cos I’m gonna bark back!

The lady with the hots for me

An email has flooded in to the barney@taxassist.co.uk inbox.


Worryingly it seems as though the very first communication could be my own stalker... the email starts with the words: ‘Barney, how did you know I have the hots for you?’

Well, it stands to reason, doesn’t it? Everyone has the hots for me and who can blame them? I certainly can’t blame Fiona Callan from Fife!

Leaving aside my new admirer’s obvious and entirely understandable infatuation with me, she also had some excellent ideas about induction. If you want to know why she was first expressing undying love for me and then explaining what she does for new members of staff on their induction, you need to read my previous blog.

Having said that, what she does is brilliant.

Induction starts well before the new team member’s first day at work. They get sent a voucher so they can go and buy some of the product their new employer sells. Accompanying the vouchers is a detailed workbook explaining the brand and what they should be experiencing during their purchase.

This theme is continued when they actually join the business and the whole process is cohesive and joined up.

Admittedly, Fiona does work for a larger organisation, but that needn’t matter. It’s easy to make a new employee feel welcome, valued and part of the team from day one. In turn, this will make them more efficient, motivated and productive... quicker.

All you need to do is have some basic things in place. Things like an email address before they arrive (if that’s what they need), a workstation, a locker... having all these things ready makes it seems as though you are ready for your new employee, rather than their arrival being a big surprise and having to scramble to take up the slack.

The other thing you should do is set aside time for them on day one, so you can show them the ropes (and diodes and electrodes if that floats your boat). Having a plan for their first day, week and, probably, month really will work wonders for your new member of staff.

Unlike me, of course, who had to wait for nearly a year before I got my email address. I think it was a bit harsh, though, to suggest I take my humans to task for not making me feel like the bees knees. (I would usually talk about the dogs’ doodahs at this point, but you never know who might be reading.)

Having said that, I think they have learned their lesson... two new members of staff coming over the next couple of weeks and plans a afoot already for their arrival.

By the way, if you have a question about business, or a comment to make you can email me at barney@taxassist.co.uk. I’ll answer every email I receive in the blog... from a doggy point of view, of course!

I've Arrived

It's only been just over a year, but now I know that I'm a woofer who's appreciated in this office.

Yes, I have my own email address:

barney@taxassist.co.uk

All I can say is: 'It's about time!'

You see, I'm an employee of this business like any other and I need to know that I'm valued... just like everyone else.

Now that the economic conditions seem to be easing a little bit (you may ask how, as a labradoodle, I know about economic conditions.  It's quite simple.  I'm getting a better class of dog biscuit of course!) and businesses are taking on people again, it's worth considering motivation just a little.

Think about it for a moment.

Throughout the recruitment process you've been telling your candidates that your business is a brilliant place to work in the hope of attracting the very best of them.

And then they turn up on day 1 and you don't have an email address for them.  Or a PC.  Or a desk.  Or a mug.

What does that say to them.  I know what it doesn't say to me: 'This is a great place to work.'

Just very simple things, like making sure there are enough mugs and getting email addresses sorted out before your new member of staff arrives will increase their motivation and make them better employees.

That's why I'm pleased to get my new email address but wish Renee had got it earlier.

Now that you can get me at barney@taxassist.co.uk why don't you give it a go?  You can send me any of your business problems and I'll reply.  I can't promise that my answers will help, I'm a dog.

They might be funny, though!  And I might publish them on my blog...

Help

My human needs help.

And I’m the woofer to give it to her. She has all my insights and experience at her disposal; but does she ask for my wisdom? No!

But why is she in so much need of my (free) advice?

It’s simple. She’s falling into the age old trap that some of you furless ones call ‘victim of her own success’.

I first got an inkling that things need changing when she cancelled a networking meeting because she was too busy. Too busy! I ask you!

But then the penny really dropped with me when I heard her say to my other human that she ‘hadn’t had chance to do any of her work today because she’d been out marketing.’

Now, I’m sure that, like me, you can see the obvious flaw in her thinking... but, just in case you can’t I shall point it out to you. She runs a business that happens to be an accountancy practice. She has two, very good and very capable, people working for her to complete the accounts and do the ‘numbers’ work... (which is what she meant when she said ‘work’).

Her job is to make sure the business continues to grow in the right way, that clients are happy with the work we do and to manager her team.

Or, to put it a simpler way, networking is the work.

There, can I put it any plainer than that?

I don’t think so...

For those of you who haven’t the benefit a furry business adviser, let me give you the full blast of me wisdom on this matter.

Most people who run their own business are very good at what they do, whether it be plumber, carpenter, consultant or anything else for that matter. If they are any good then, with a little marketing and effort, they will get busy. They start getting referrals and get busier. Soon they are so busy they meet themselves coming back. (That’s a doggy phrase).

At this point they should either get someone to help them so they can concentrate on running the business or they should give up, ‘cos they are going to be knackered for the rest of their lives. Of course, they could just refuse to take on any more business and put their prices up. There is that option, I will concede!

Given, though, that my human is building a business, which option should she be pursuing? I think it’s option 1. Get some more help do to the accounts... so she can get on with the real work.

I love a nice lamppost

I know it’s hard to believe but I may have made a bit of a fool of myself recently.


It’s not entirely my fault because it’s not easy concentrating on more than one thing at a time and I haven’t quite got the hang of it.

You see, I was taking Renee (my human) for a walk and she was on her lead as she usually is when we’re walking on the pavement.

It was a nice enough day and my attention was taken by a rather nice looking bitch who was almost as good looking as me. Oh, she fluttered her eyes at me, circled round a bit, waggled her rear end and generally made her interest in me pretty clear.

But Renee, apparently, was in a bit of a hurry. Although what could be more important than a romantic liaison with a fine looking Labrador beats the living daylights out of me. That’s by the by... she was in a hurry so I had no choice other than to follow on.

I took a last lingering look back at my latest conquest in the hope of getting a last sight of that lovely tail... and walked smack into a lamppost.

Damn me, but it hurt my beak and I have to admit I was a bit shocked for a few minutes.

As soon as I gathered me wits, though, I sauntered on as thought nothing had happened; that was until I took a sneaky peak at Renee, who, it so happens, saw the whole thing and was killing herself laughing.

What could I do?

I Mustered what little dignity was left to me, put me nose and me tail in the air and walked on, jaunty as anything, just to show her I didn’t care that her sides were splitting.

It turns out, though, that some good came of my ‘walking-into-a-lamppost’ incident.

Apparently it reminded Renee, that it’s really important to keep an overview of the business as well as looking after all the details. If you get so hung up on the day to day detail of the business you’re likely to walk right into a lamppost because you won’t be looking where you’re going.

It’s not an easy trick, mind you, having all these different views, so it’s always best to schedule time out to keep a check on the big picture... and, if you can, do it with someone else; someone who’ll help you avoid a nasty collision by really challenging you on where you are going.

By the way, my snozzle is much better now... thanks for asking.

Taxadoodle

It's a funny time of year for Tax Expert Dog... like me.

Something called the Tax Return Deadline is approaching and it seems to have got a lot of people excited.

For a laid back, chilled out dog like me it's a bit bizarre to see people coming in with great bundles of paperwork, waving their Tax Returns (or even 2 Tax Returns (this year's and last year's)) and frowning in a worried sort of way.

They disappear into the office with my human and emerge sometime later like different people.  The frown is gone, their shoulders are unbowed and there's invariably a bounce in their step... as though some enormous weight has been lifted from their shoulders.

Okay, I may be exaggerating just a little bit, but not by much...

According to Renee, this is stressful time for people who need to complete their Tax Returns by 31st January.  If they haven't done so yet, it means they are cutting things a little fine and it usually means there's something on the form they need help with.  They know they have to do something, they just don't know what.

Personally, I don't know what all the fuss is about, but then I ate the last pen I picked up (and very painful it was a day or so later.  An interesting shade of blue, though).

So, what's to do?

Well you can either fill in your return yourself, which is fine.  Or you could get someone to do it for you, which is also good.  The advantage of having someone do it for you is they will probably know more about what you can claim for and could well reduce the amount of tax you end up paying.

Worth it?  Well, maybe, but worth a conversation at least.