Checking my emails

Oy oy me old muckers... how's tricks?

I always take me humans for a nice long walk on a Saturday... usually Braid Valley Park (in the river), through the Hermitage of Braid (in the river), across the observatory through Grange and down to Holyrood where I swim in the conveniently placed doggy swimming pools, where I usually get me picture taken by my adoring fans... or tourists to you.

Oh, the things I do for the Edinburgh tourist industry.

Now, I have to say, me humans sometimes get the hump with me 'cos the journey takes a bit longer than it should.

That's because I have to check me emails on the way round.  It's not my fault they misinterpret this as sniffing lamposts, wheelie bins, other bins, walls, gate posts, sometimes people, columns, park benches, rocks and railings.

But if some dog has been good enough to leave a message then it's the very least I can do to read it and then reply, although I have to say that replying at the end of the walk when I can only squeeze out a few drops is more difficult than at the start when me bladder is full.

Anyway, I can't see what they get so annoyed about.  I often hear me human Renee saying to me other human 'what are you doing now?'

The reply might be a variety of things: 'texting me mates' or 'checking me emails' or 'responding to an email from...' or 'reading the news.

I mean, that's not annoying is it?

And then it happens in reverse and Renee is on her 'phone looking at Facebook or Twitter and it's Richard's turn to ask what she's up to.

How often, you important people out there, are you in a meeting and someone has put their 'phone on silent but haven't switched off the vibrate?  Now that's annoying.  Do you ever do it to anyone else?  Get half way through a nice chat and then start looking at your 'phone?

No?

Not sure I believe you and I'm certainly going to keep checking my messages!

Are you Hubbed up?

Me human Richard, along with some chums, has set up another new business...

Why he should want to do it is beyond me.  He's already most un-woofer like with all his running around.  He should learn to chillax more... rather like his furry friend.  (That's me).

That's all by the by - he's set up this community based magazine... which has grown arms and legs and now encompasses loads of stuff.

So let's start at the top:

The magazine.  It's an A5 job and I know what you're thinking, 'cos I was thinking the same thing meself: there are a few of these mags about.  Apparently, this one is a bit different though.  It carries more local interest stories than may be some other mags, with features on Local Heroes and Business Spotlights as well  as other local stuff.

It looks good, too... although that's nuffing to do with Richard, that's all Colin at wwwgingersnapdesign.co.uk

It has to be said that advertising is pretty good value, too.  That's because the team ain't trying to make money, just cover the costs.

And that's not all...

The mag is being backed up by a website as well.  Apparently it's being built as we speak but you can see the latest mags on the site: www.thehub-community.com.  The website will promote local businesses but will also have info about the location where you're based (so far there's Musselburgh and Corstorphine, but there'll be others, too).  It's also going to have 'living history' pages: very exciting and more about that later.

There are other things in the pipeline: like an i-phone app and networking events for local businesses.  But the point is: what do you want to see on a local site like this?

More doggy stuff I'd imagine.

Answers on a postcard or, better still, an email to richard@thehub-community.com

Facebook

Do you know what... I've got into modelling recently.

Oh, I know I always look good but this professional modelling is different.  It's almost like hard work.  I mean, someone kept throwing me a sausage and then I'd have to hold a pose for ages... at least a second.

Why not look me up on Facebook, you can find me here:

http://www.facebook.com/barneytaxassist

I'd really appreciate it if you'd leave a message, ask a questions (I promise to answer in my doggy style) or simply Like the page.

Anyway, that's not really what I want to write about today.  Nope, I have a different feline in me fur.

I live in Morningside and I have to say the walk through Morningside and Bruntsfield is one of me favourites. There are loads of local shops, smells, places to eat, The Meadows, Henriks Bar where they even let me humans in for a drink and lunch.

But I'm worried for the area and the reason I'm worried is... Sainsbury's.

It all started a few years ago with Tesco's on Holy Corner.  No-one really noticed and actually one express store like that was probably a good thing.  There's always the missing dental sticks and biscuits that need to be bought.

But then Peckhams, next door to Montpeliers, closed.  There was a pause of a couple of weeks before the signs went up and then it became public... it was Sainsbury's going in there.  I wasn't happy but, okay, I suppose one more of these mini supermarkets I could live with.

But now, they've taken the scaffolding down from the rebuilt building opposite the Canny Mann's and... OMG it's another Sainsbury's.  We don't need another one!

How long before the local shops begin to feel the squeeze?

Now, I know they have to compete in the modern world and, of course they should.  But they can't compete with laziness, even if they win hands down on service, quality and sometimes price.  The problem is it's just so easy to whip into Sainsbury's.  You know where everything is and you don't have to interact with anyone.

But please, peeps, make just a little bit of extra effort and keep using the local shops to make sure Morningside and Bruntsfield stay vibrant... we don't need another one of these express 'local' stores.

Holiday - Day 5

The last day of our holiday dawned bright and clear...

No it didn't.  It was dull and overcast.  But at least it wasn't raining.

After our altercation with the Lindisfarne Inn and our extra night at the Black Bull in Wooler we had a bit of a drive to our starting point... which was the Lindisfarne Inn.  The last part of the journey was the 6 or so miles from Beal across the causeway to the Holy Island.

Compared to our previous days, the walking was easy; a well maintained footpath all the way to the end of the causeway where the footpath promptly ran out.

The causeway opened to traffic at 9.45 in the morning after the tide subsided and we arrived at 10 - on foot - so there were still very large pools of sea water across the road... and lots of cars with drivers who seemed to want to drive through the pools at top speed and send a fountain of water over the edge of the causeway, or anyone who happened to be walking along it.  Like us.

So began a cat and mouse game of dodgem.  A quick look both ways and then a sprint to the other side of the pool before the closest vehicle could try and soak us.

The problem was I quite fancied a swim in the sea on either side of the causeway and I kept getting distracted just at the wrong moment.  I'd slam on the ol' anchors, pull Renee to a complete stop and try to jump off into the sea... all the while with a car load of Italian tourists bearing down on us, hell bent on revenge for... well, something, 'cos we're all friends now!

Lindisfarne Island was bigger than I thought it might be and it took us another half an hour to come to the little village itself... and very nice it is, too.  Especially the hotel where we had a jolly nice lunch in the garden. What actually made it nice was the fact that there was a umbrella over the table and it was now sluicing down with rain.

There was nothing for it... the rain wasn't going to stop, so it was a long 6 mile trudge back to the car.  And there was a choice.  We could either walk the long way round via the causeway, or cross the Pilgrim's Way: across the mud guided by nothing except a few poles sticking up out of the mud.  Richard was all for it, but Renee decided to play safe after she saw one fella up to his eyeballs in goo.

It was the long way round for us.  Well, it was alright for me humans: they were wearing waterproofs.  All I had was a fur coat... and one that holds the water, I might tell you.

So, there we have it.  5 days of walking, adventure, a very sore bum, a broken ankle, a bitch and a soaking fur coat.  Here's a link, in case you're interested: http://www.stcuthbertsway.net

Personally I wouldn't change a thing (apart from me bum) and I can't wait until next year.  I reckon St Oswald's Way... 100 miles in 7 days.

You can find out more about Renee, Richard and me at www.taxassist.co.uk/reneemackay

Holiday - Day 4

Oh the relief when I woke up and me bum wasn't going off like the landing light on an aeroplane. So, we were good to go... Wooler to Beal and a slightly shorter day's walking today; only about 13 miles. And the sun was shining, the birds were singing (and my bum wasn't) it was a lovely day for walking. It was easy going to start with and all three of us seemed to be enjoying it... Until we had to cross a field. Alright, it wasn't the field that was the problem per se. It was the whacking great bull that some jolly old farmer had put in the field and what he was intending to do with the cows. No, that's wrong. It wasn't what he was intending to do with the cows it was actually what he was doing to the cows. We stood at the gate in an agony of indecision mostly because the bull had finished and was looking around for another... well, you know what he was looking round for, and we didn't want it to be one of us. Eventually we spied an escape route, squeezed under a fence, walked along a river bank and re-entered the field away from the amorous bull but right int he middle of a herd of cows and their calves. I never knew humans could run as fast as that... but they can. By lunchtime we'd made it to St Cuthbert's cave... so called because 1,200 years before monks from Lindisfarne, fearing an invasion by the Vikings had high tailed with with the old boy's body and rested under and outcropping of rock. It was sort of sobering, even for a woofer like me, to think that those monks has stood in that very spot all those years ago. So, onto the last leg to the Lindisfarne Inn at Beal. Richard said he was ready for a pint and was therefore very disappointed when we got into an argument with the manager. Lindisfarne Inn markets itself as dog friendly but I wasn't allowed in the bar, conservatory or even in the garden. I had to be locked in me room and they didn't even do room service. Fair play to me humans; they were having none of this and immediately cancelled the room. Fortunately our car was parked nearby so we went back to the Black Bull (the picture on the pub sign looked suspiciously like the randy devil we'd almost been chased by earlier in the day) where we spent that evening... Very convivial it was, too. Next week,q the final stage of the journey... Beal to Lindisfarne and don't forget to sent me your holiday stories: I'll post them on me blog for you. Send them to reneemackay@taxassist.co.uk

Holiday - day 3

Oh dear... Oh dear - oh dear dear dear... Me bum. It wasn't agony as such; just very, very sore. Last night I eventually got some sleep after me human Richard wrapped himself in a sheet and lay on the bathroom floor with me. The lino was the only surface cool enough to give me relief. So, the third day of me walking hols dawned with a decision to me made. Richard was all for walking for a third straight day, especially after the first two days were so successful. I wasn't so sure myself and contrived to look all forlorn at every opportunity. 'Just look at him,' says Renee, me other human, 'we can't make him walk all day while he's like that.' Hear, hear, thinks I, and as Renee wears the trousers and what I say, goes, we packed ourselves off to find a vet in Kelso about 20 miles away. It was pouring with rain anyway, so I couldn't really see the problem myself. Anyway, the bus driver was very nice and, even better, the floor of the bus was very cool... A blessed relief for me backside. So, in the vets I thinks to myself, 'hello Barney old lad, here's another one of those fellas who's going to have a poke around your nether regions.' And I have to admit that I got a bit agitated. Well, wouldn't you if a strange bloke was lifting your tail and rummaging around your gentleman's area? 'Razor burn,' said the young vet, who turned out to be not too bad. And promptly gave us cream and pills. So, on With the cream and down with the pill (I think we got it the right way round) and back on the jolly old bus to Melrose. We picked up the other car and all moved to Wooler, our next overnight stop. By the time we arrived at The Black Bull it was late afternoon and time for a drink in the bar. The locals were very friendly... they obviously knew each other well but included me humans in their conversations. They we're all friendly except for one bitch... er... that's a female dog. She growled at me something fierce and all because I thought I'd rub myself around her human. Jealousy is not nice in a bitch. She had the last laugh, though. 'Hup,' says her owner and blow me if she didn't jump up on a bar stool and sit at the bar, for all the world like she was about to order a Babycham. Very funny it was, too. It made me humans laugh, at least, but they're easily pleased. Drop me a line if you have any holiday stories or visit me human's website at www.taxassist.co.uk/reneemackay if you want to find out more. Next week, I'm back walking again - Wooler to Beal.

Holidays - day two

Well, it was rise and shine bright and early on day 2 of me holidays. Day 1 sees me and me humans walk the first part of St Cuthbert's way from Melrose to Mounthooly... A breezy 17 miles with only one broken ankle to report on the way. Day 2 dawned a lovely day and we was off before 9... partly because we had another 17 miles to do but mostly because we were scared of the fearsome landlady of the 'rustic' B and B we were staying in. It was lovely walking weather as we progressed along the last part of Deere Street - an old Roman Road which has been in continuous use for more than 2,000 years. Me human Richard told Renee and me that and kept us hugely entertained with a string of really quite boring facts covering just about every subject we could possibly not be interested in. Anyway, we were making good time when we encountered a different kind of beast than the woolly bleaters from the stay before. (Talking about bleating, it turned out that Richard's shattered ankle was no such thing and he'd forgotten about it... until, that is, Renee mentioned it, when it started hurting again. Strange that.) Anyway, back to the creatures. These ones were big, solemn, chewed a lot and had a strange bag dangling from their hind quarters. Most inconvenient it looked, too. For some reason these big ol' beasts excited me and I wanted to go an play; but I had to look after me human Renee who was looking very scared, so I kept her on her lead. I have to say lunch in a place called Morebattle (which is nothing to with warfare, but probably to do with the ancient word for 'peat bog' (thanks, Dick (and I use the word advisedly)) was very good, but me bum was beginning to itch and then downright hurt. The only thing to give relief was sitting on it, jumping in a river or running about like a mad thing... None of those things are easy to do all the time so it was a combination of all 3 that kept me going. After lunch it was straight up Wide Open Hill 357 metres (where do you think that fact came from?) A tough climb but a great view and a descent into Town Yelthom (pronounced Yettum... so why don't they spell it that way?). The Plough Inn was good and there was a million dogs in the bar which would have been great if it wasn't for me bum which was really hurting by now. We were early to bed because me humans, bless 'em, needed the rest. But I was up in the middle of the night yelping because me backside was really smarting. The only place I could get it cool enough and stop it flashing like a Bolesha Beacon was the bathroom floor and even then Richard had to wrap himself in a sheet and lie on the floor with me before I could get to sleep. Next week I'll tell you more about me bum and what happened on day 3 of me holibags. Do let me knlow what you think and send in your holiday experiences... I'll try to mention them in a future blog.