Inappropriate behaviour?

I don’t suffer from this meself.

So I can’t understand why me human keeps tugging on her lead when I’m trying to pull her around her walk.
It usually happens when I meet a fellow woofer. Personally I can think of nothing better than a friendly sniff of the bottom to say hello.

But apparently this isn’t the right thing to do. In the human world, maybe, but in the canine world it’s just our way of shaking hands, saying hello and generally getting to know a new friend or get reacquainted with a bottom I’ve sniffed before.

All perfectly civilised, so I can’t see the problem when I sniff the occasional crotch of a two legged companion. I just want to identify who it is and whether they are permitted to give me scratch behind the ears.

As I was sayin’, I’m not allowed to do this anymore, particularly with humans, but the general rule has been extended to my furry friends... there’s no more wandering up the path with me nose glued to another dog’s whotsit.

Richard, me other human, thinks it’s funny but Renee disagreed (and so Richard quite quickly disagreed, too. That fella should stand up for himself more). She put it into client terms.

What’s right for one client isn’t right for another (she said). You have to get to know your clients so you can deliver the service they are looking for. For some of her clients the right thing to do is get in touch with them regularly, make sure things are running smoothly and provide help and assistance when needed.

For other clients, this would be a right royal pain in the backside. They just want to know the help and support is there if they need it.

So (she patiently explained to Richard) one size really doesn’t fit all and what’s appropriate for one ain’t appropriate for another. That’s why she takes so much time getting to know what clients want.

Much like me sniffing a crotch.

It’s alright for me to sniff the nether regions of another hound, but it doesn’t wash in the human world.

In future, then, don’t think I’m being rude if I don’t have a crafty little whiff... I’m just displaying appropriate behaviour. That’s all.

By the way, before I go, I just thought I’d let you know that I’m launching a new feature... Ask Barney.

If you have any burnin’ questions about life, the universe, marketing, finance, sales, service or anything else, just send them to me and I’ll give you the dog’s eye view.

I can’t promise me answers will be useful for a human but I do promise you’ll get a chuckle.