Do you know what you don't know?

For a woofer I'm pretty clued in to all sorts of things.

For example, I can't tell the time but I always know when dinner is about to be chucked my way.

I can tell whether a person is right 'un or a wrong 'un within 2 seconds of meeting them... they give off a smell, you see.  All you humans do and I can tell just from the way you smell what sort of person you are.

I pretty much know how to get me humans to sort me out with a treat: sit down, look cute, bash them wiv me beak to get their full attention and then look longingly into their eyes whilst making me own deep brown mincies melt and dissolve with love and adoration for their kindness...

It's all complete tosh of course, but it seems to work on them.  Saps!

Anyway, although I know a lot of stuff, I would never pretend that I know everything or that I'm even much good a lots of things... I'm not and I'm quite happy with that.  It takes quite a lot of the pressure off.  If you've got a reputation for being a bit daft people are more willing to forgive true lapses into naughtiness.

Hence I get away with the occasional crafty nip at Richard's fingers.  'Awww, he didn't mean it...'  Ha!

I was therefore intrigued when me humans were talking the other day and Renee says to Richard when he mentioned a mutual acquaintance and she said in her most sniffy way:

'Him?  You could write what he knows on the back of a postage stamp and still have room for the name and address!'

For some reason this made Richard laugh, but then he grew serious.

It turns out this guy had set himself up as some kind of guru and was leading a group of people right down the garden path.  Even to a woofer like me it was obvious the guy was thinking small time when he should have been thinking big.  He was thinking short term when he should have been thinking long.  He was thinking 'what can I get out of this' when he should have been thinking 'what can I help this group of people get?'

Why do some humans do that?

Why do they set themselves up to be something they're not rather than saying at the outset: 'I can't help you with that.'  Surely it's more powerful to say 'but I know someone who can...'

I've had a word wiv meself about this and I've come up with some observations about why you humans sometimes pretend to know more than you do:

1. If you don't keep talking your mouths seize up
2. You worry that unless you are brilliant at everything other humans might not like you
3. You aren't quite sure how to say 'no'

After I ran through all these possibilities in me head I came to the conclusion that I was being a bit harsh and I came up with a much simpler and easier to understand theory:

The real reason for not admitting that you don't know something is because you don't know that you don't know it... and if you did know it, that you didn't know that is, it would be much easier to admit you didn't know and that you know someone who does and they can help.

You see; my doggy wisdom knows no bounds... all you need to do is answer these three easy questions and they'll see you right:

1. Do you know what you're on about?
2. Do you kind of know what you're on about but someone else might be better placed?
3. Do you actually want to help the person in front of you?

If you answer any of these questions with a 'no', run.  Honestly run a mile and things will work out better for all concerned.