Uncle Dick

Now I have to say I quite often write about me human Dickie Boy and I'm often quite disparaging (yes, disparaging) about him.

He's a nice enough old cove if a bit of a muppet from time to time.

But me other human, Renee does insist on calling him Barney's Dad... at which point Dick always says 'I'm not his Dad, I'm his master!'

As if!

In that sentence the Dickster has actually managed to excel himself by being at least 50% right.

He is correct in saying that he's not me Dad and I'm quite relieved about it.  I mean, he's got no fur to speak of (apart from a light covering on his chest), he's only got two legs, no tail, his nose ain't wet, his tongue doesn't loll (except sometimes after about 10.30 on a Friday night after a particularly hard week), he doesn't sleep enough, doesn't like throwing things for me very much, eats with a knife and fork and not straight from a bowl and doesn't appreciate it when I get amorous wiv his right leg.  (It's always his right leg and never his left.  Why's that I wonder?)

I mean - who'd want that as a Dad?

Sadly the other 50% of his statement wasn't so accurate.  I can't really see how he can say he's my master.  Do I come when he calls?  Only when I want to...  Do I lay down, roll over and play dead at his command?  No...  Does he feed me when I look at him?  Yes.

So how's that him being my master?

The thing about is Nicola from the office (Pronounced Nickla) has joined in on the act.

She's worked with Renee and Dickie Doo Dah for nearly two years and today she pipes up that for the first time she's started thinking of Dick as Uncle Richard!

Now, I'm not sure if this accurate or not.  She is actually Renee's niece, so does that make her Richard's niece, too?  Niece-in-Law maybe?  I dunno.

The thing is, she's started addressing emails to Dick Dastardly as Dear Uncle Richard.

Just a little thing that's driving him nuts... and therefore I'm all for it.

I guess the bottom lie to all this, when I actually think about it is that I'm quite happy to let Dick think he's my master (when everybody in the world knows that it's the other way around) just as long as he keeps putting me food out and he scratches me essentials every so often.

I suppose that's the nature of relationships... he gives me something and I give him something in return.

Renee talks about relationships and whether they are in debit or credit.  They are a bit like a human bank account.  Sometimes you have to pay in to a relationship and other times you take something from it... but you can't do both all the time, it just doesn't work.

Of course, my relationships are always in credit... I allow people to stroke me and that's it - deposit made!