Hello me old muckers...
I haven't blogged for a couple of weeks because I've been on me holibags.
I took me humans on a walking holiday - we walked St Cuthberts Way from Melrose to Lindisfarne. Sixty five miles in 5 days. It was great fun although not without incident, so I thought I'd spend the next few weeks writing me diary of the adventure.
Here's part 1 for you:
Actually, the story starts before the holiday...
You see, I'm a somewhat hairy fella and sometimes that causes issues in me nether regions. I think the technical term is 'clinkers'. Nuff said?
Anyway, me humans had enough of the clinkers so they took me to the vet. Gawd, how I hate that bloke. And he gave me a shave.
The problem was he shaved me a bit close and it was very uncomfortable to have the wind blowing round me whotsits... so I kept sitting on 'em, to keep 'em warm, as it were. The problem was me humans mis-interpreted this as me backside hurting. It wasn't that at all... it was embarrassing!
Don't believe me? You cut a hole in the bum of your trousers and walk around for a day... then you'll see how embarrassing it actually was.
Anyway, we parked up in Melrose and then it was straight up the Eildon Hills. Me humans didn't slow me up too much, but I was running around a lot.
It was lovely; sun shining, fresh air, grass to roll in. The only fly in the ointment was that they did insist on being put on their lead everytime they saw those woolly things in fields... as though they couldn't trust themselves not to chase them.
Persoanlly, they didn't bother me much.
After lunch we turned on to the banks of the Tweed and disaster struck.
Richard was on his lead and I decided to investigate a bee that was flying around a flower. How was I to know he wasn't concentrating?
Mind you, the yell of pain as he twisted his ankle was truly impressive. He shouted so loud he actually dribbled. Pathetic.
Of course, he immediately told everyone that his ankle was sharttered in at least six places but he would walk on without complaining.
Ha!
There was more bleating than from those woolly things in the fields.
Anyway, despite his broken ankle (which miraculously recovered the next day) we tramped on to a place called Harestanes, where we were staying the first night... except we weren't... staying there I mean.
When Richard rang, the landlady told us we were still 3 miles away and we'd already done 14!
I shan't repeat what Renee said to him. Have you ever seen a Labradoodle with his fur standing on end? No? You would have done if you'd been there while I was listening to that exchange. Shocked I was.
Anyway... we made it. And very, erm, rustic, the B & B was, too. Nothing for it - an early night and hope the fur grows on me back end over night!
Thursday, 14 June 2012
Tuesday, 22 May 2012
I love living in Edinburgh
The authorities in Edinburgh are very thoughtful towards woofers like me...
You see, there are some really dirty pools, mostly stagnant, and streams running through Holyrood Park and I usually find me way into them when I'm taking me humans for a walk of a Saturday morning.
But it don't matter becaue some thoughtful fella has built some very nice and very clean doggy baths and stuck them right outside that parliament building.
I think it's a bit strange that me human Richard, when he takes a crafty look left and right and slips me collar off, shouts at the top of his voice 'no, no Barney, don't jump in the water' and then pushes me in the direction of the pool.
Last week I even had an audience, so I took one look and a huge run up, leaping in as far as I could go. I got a cheer. (You're not the only one, Pudsey!)
It was a bit perplexing when I came out and saw, out of the corner of me eye, a police officer walking slowly over shaking his head. I mean, the pools are clearly there for my use. I wasn't disturbing anyone and they weren't crowded. After all, there was no-one else is them.
Maybe the rozzer thought that I shouldn't have been in the pool although I find that hard to believe.
I suppose I could have taken the time to find out what the pools were actually for before me natural exuberance took over.
We once had a fella come into our shop asking us if we could stuff his dead cat. He was most put out when we pointed we were 'TaxAssist' not 'taxidermists'. See what I mean? It's easy to make a mistake about what a business is for.
Ah well, what a muppet.
It's kind of the same in business. Sometimes you assume one thing but actually it's something else. It's always worth thinking things all the way through to try and work out all the potential consequences.
Take the trams (and I know the the next line is: someone please take the trams), I thinks there's a marvellous opportunity for me if things don't work out as planned... I would be more than happy to use the overhead lines as a kind of doggy zip wire.
Just imagine it... Me in a basket suspended above all the hustle and bustle being zipped along without effort.
I like that bit the best.
Monday, 7 May 2012
Britain's Got Talent
So that little prima dona Pudsey has reached the finals of BGT!
Okay, okay... he's cute, he's talented, he's smart. But I ask you: what's he got that I haven't got?
You can't answer that, can you?
Apart from the fact he's just slightly cuter, just a smidgeon more talented and a tiny little bit smarter.
Anyway, I was watching the box last night and having a right laugh at the furry eejit when I suddenly thought that the Queen, God bless her, would probably really love to see Pudsey in her show. Then I thought that perhaps the Queen has downloaded the Britain's Got Talent i-phone app and has been voting away.
If that's the case, do you think her vote has a weighting... 'Oh, the Queen's voted, so that's an extra thousand points'?
No?
You're probably right.
Anyway, this got me thinking about social media and what a powerful weapon it actually is.
Me human, Richard, has been poking around the social media sites recently, putting out tweets, blogs and Facebook messages... just one a day... and people are picking up on it straight away.
Which is amazing, really. After all, it's Richard so he doesn't talk about dogs much and who's gonna wanna talk about that?
This recent focus on social media came about when his account was attacked by a rogue app: (like I know what that means) it seemed to his followers as though he'd sent out messages that said things like:
'People are saying bad things about you'
and
'I laughed my head off at this picture of you'
Needless to say he didn't send these things, but people obviously read them because a whole load of people got in touch. So, social media does reach people, it's just that you've got to say interesting things to get their attention.
It doesn't always work, but you just might hit on the subject that everyone has an opinion about.
I think I'm going to have to switch my allegiance from Jonathan and Charlotte to Pudsey, but only because I think he might win and I don't want anyone to accuse me of having sour grapes.
Okay, okay... he's cute, he's talented, he's smart. But I ask you: what's he got that I haven't got?
You can't answer that, can you?
Apart from the fact he's just slightly cuter, just a smidgeon more talented and a tiny little bit smarter.
Anyway, I was watching the box last night and having a right laugh at the furry eejit when I suddenly thought that the Queen, God bless her, would probably really love to see Pudsey in her show. Then I thought that perhaps the Queen has downloaded the Britain's Got Talent i-phone app and has been voting away.
If that's the case, do you think her vote has a weighting... 'Oh, the Queen's voted, so that's an extra thousand points'?
No?
You're probably right.
Anyway, this got me thinking about social media and what a powerful weapon it actually is.
Me human, Richard, has been poking around the social media sites recently, putting out tweets, blogs and Facebook messages... just one a day... and people are picking up on it straight away.
Which is amazing, really. After all, it's Richard so he doesn't talk about dogs much and who's gonna wanna talk about that?
This recent focus on social media came about when his account was attacked by a rogue app: (like I know what that means) it seemed to his followers as though he'd sent out messages that said things like:
'People are saying bad things about you'
and
'I laughed my head off at this picture of you'
Needless to say he didn't send these things, but people obviously read them because a whole load of people got in touch. So, social media does reach people, it's just that you've got to say interesting things to get their attention.
It doesn't always work, but you just might hit on the subject that everyone has an opinion about.
I think I'm going to have to switch my allegiance from Jonathan and Charlotte to Pudsey, but only because I think he might win and I don't want anyone to accuse me of having sour grapes.
Wednesday, 2 May 2012
Me Human's a Winner
Despite all I've said over the passed few weeks it seems me human, Renee, isn't quite as mad as I thought.
No, she isn't quite as mad and she's an award winner.
Apparently she is the Most Successful Start Up business in the TaxAssist Accountants network.
Brilliant!
But how has she done it?
Well, apart from failing to take me for longer and longer walks, preferring to spend her time in the office I overheard me other human, Richard, explaining what it is that she does.
First of all, apparently, she has a system and sticks to it. So, for example, when it's time for a set of accounts to be signed off by one of her clients, the easiest thing to do would be to send 'em out with a little label on them saying 'Sign Here'.
But she doesn't do that. She talks accounts through with everyone, making sure they understand what's been going on, what the numbers mean and what they could do differently next year to get even better results.
Secondly, she has built a great team around her... not by accident but by developing, encouraging, sometimes having difficult conversations but always making sure they know why they're doing what they're doing.
Finally, marketing has been key... but networking has been the foundation of the marketing.
Renee is the queen of networking. Like the other Thursday... BNI at 6.45, followed by lunch with No Ties followed by The Networks between 6.30 and about 10.00 in the evening. That's because networking is about being there, being seen and always thinking about what you can bring to the group... rather than thinking what the group can do for you.
Do the one thing and you'll get results.
Oh... and, of course, there's one thing that's more important than any of the others... ME!
Without me lying around and looking cute, none of this would have been possible.
So, there you are.
If you want to be successful in business you have to get a ME!
No, she isn't quite as mad and she's an award winner.
Apparently she is the Most Successful Start Up business in the TaxAssist Accountants network.
Brilliant!
But how has she done it?
Well, apart from failing to take me for longer and longer walks, preferring to spend her time in the office I overheard me other human, Richard, explaining what it is that she does.
First of all, apparently, she has a system and sticks to it. So, for example, when it's time for a set of accounts to be signed off by one of her clients, the easiest thing to do would be to send 'em out with a little label on them saying 'Sign Here'.
But she doesn't do that. She talks accounts through with everyone, making sure they understand what's been going on, what the numbers mean and what they could do differently next year to get even better results.
Secondly, she has built a great team around her... not by accident but by developing, encouraging, sometimes having difficult conversations but always making sure they know why they're doing what they're doing.
Finally, marketing has been key... but networking has been the foundation of the marketing.
Renee is the queen of networking. Like the other Thursday... BNI at 6.45, followed by lunch with No Ties followed by The Networks between 6.30 and about 10.00 in the evening. That's because networking is about being there, being seen and always thinking about what you can bring to the group... rather than thinking what the group can do for you.
Do the one thing and you'll get results.
Oh... and, of course, there's one thing that's more important than any of the others... ME!
Without me lying around and looking cute, none of this would have been possible.
So, there you are.
If you want to be successful in business you have to get a ME!
Thursday, 12 April 2012
Britain's Got Talent
Ha!
What a joke!
Me human, Renee, has gone daft for a ridiculous little fluff ball called Pudsey, who apparently looked pretty good on Britain's Got Talent.
Here it is if you want to torture yourself with sickly sweetness:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dv_gOBi8Wpk
Me? I thought it was hopeless... all that prancing about on his hind legs, waving his forelegs in the air. I mean, if we were intended to walk like humans God would have halved the size of our brains.
But the cheek of it, Renee suggested that I was not clever enough to do what Pudsey did... but I rather like to think about it in a different way.
To look cute and do my job, all I need to do is look deep into your eyes and cock my head on one side when you say something to me. Pretending that I'm interested in what you're saying, you see. Or, if I'm feeling really energetic, I might roll over onto me back and wave me legs in the air...
A guaranteed tummy rub.
Now, that's cute and it takes a fraction of the effort it took Mudsey. (That's not a typo, by the way).
You see, it's all about knowing what skills you have and what you bring to the party. I'm a marketing magnet and Mudsey is an entertainer; I don't have to do all that muckin' about, but I'm still valuable to the business.
Anyway, if you wanted to talk about lack of brains, how about this? I was lying half asleep this morning when me human got into the shower. All I could hear, half muffled through the closed door was: 'Where me keys, where me 'phone?'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLTIK4soif8
'Nuff said.
What a joke!
Me human, Renee, has gone daft for a ridiculous little fluff ball called Pudsey, who apparently looked pretty good on Britain's Got Talent.
Here it is if you want to torture yourself with sickly sweetness:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dv_gOBi8Wpk
Me? I thought it was hopeless... all that prancing about on his hind legs, waving his forelegs in the air. I mean, if we were intended to walk like humans God would have halved the size of our brains.
But the cheek of it, Renee suggested that I was not clever enough to do what Pudsey did... but I rather like to think about it in a different way.
To look cute and do my job, all I need to do is look deep into your eyes and cock my head on one side when you say something to me. Pretending that I'm interested in what you're saying, you see. Or, if I'm feeling really energetic, I might roll over onto me back and wave me legs in the air...
A guaranteed tummy rub.
Now, that's cute and it takes a fraction of the effort it took Mudsey. (That's not a typo, by the way).
You see, it's all about knowing what skills you have and what you bring to the party. I'm a marketing magnet and Mudsey is an entertainer; I don't have to do all that muckin' about, but I'm still valuable to the business.
Anyway, if you wanted to talk about lack of brains, how about this? I was lying half asleep this morning when me human got into the shower. All I could hear, half muffled through the closed door was: 'Where me keys, where me 'phone?'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLTIK4soif8
'Nuff said.
Monday, 30 January 2012
End of Tax Return Season
Well, me old muckers... we seem to have made it.
To the end of tax return season that is. Just a day to go until HMRC (or HM Arsey as Renee calls 'em) start levying the fines. Except they've extended the deadline by two days because of some strike or other.
Those workers should be more dog-like. I'm always on strike. Except when it's walk time. Or food time. Or play time. Or treat time.
But I'm having a bit f break whilst me humans shove off on holiday. At 3 O'Clock on Sunday morning I was rudely awakened, plonked in the back of a car and driven 400 miles to Richard's parents. I was very pleased to get there, I can tell you.
So pleased I ran right passed them into their back garden pausing only to bite the one and only bud there was on a bunch of tulips shooting out of a plant pot, knocked over the bird bath, decided I needed a drink, slurped a full bowl of water and then promptly threw up over the lounge carpet.
I may have been a little too excited.
Since then, though, I've calmed meself down and am generally taken things easy. No more being marched to the shop at 7 in the morning without a chance of slipping the ol' lead, even for a few minutes.
Nope... it's up at 8, loaf out into the garden for me morning ablutions before a leisurely breakfast and a walk with old man Lambert down to the shop for the papers. Sit outside, looking cute and get me chin scratched by the little ol' lady before heading over to the park to pretend I like chasing a ball.
It's a leisurely life for me for a couple of weeks.
It's important, I think to re-charge the batteries and I'm sure Renee will come back off her holibags fighting fit and raring to go. I'll be right behind her. About 50 yards right enough.
To the end of tax return season that is. Just a day to go until HMRC (or HM Arsey as Renee calls 'em) start levying the fines. Except they've extended the deadline by two days because of some strike or other.
Those workers should be more dog-like. I'm always on strike. Except when it's walk time. Or food time. Or play time. Or treat time.
But I'm having a bit f break whilst me humans shove off on holiday. At 3 O'Clock on Sunday morning I was rudely awakened, plonked in the back of a car and driven 400 miles to Richard's parents. I was very pleased to get there, I can tell you.
So pleased I ran right passed them into their back garden pausing only to bite the one and only bud there was on a bunch of tulips shooting out of a plant pot, knocked over the bird bath, decided I needed a drink, slurped a full bowl of water and then promptly threw up over the lounge carpet.
I may have been a little too excited.
Since then, though, I've calmed meself down and am generally taken things easy. No more being marched to the shop at 7 in the morning without a chance of slipping the ol' lead, even for a few minutes.
Nope... it's up at 8, loaf out into the garden for me morning ablutions before a leisurely breakfast and a walk with old man Lambert down to the shop for the papers. Sit outside, looking cute and get me chin scratched by the little ol' lady before heading over to the park to pretend I like chasing a ball.
It's a leisurely life for me for a couple of weeks.
It's important, I think to re-charge the batteries and I'm sure Renee will come back off her holibags fighting fit and raring to go. I'll be right behind her. About 50 yards right enough.
Wednesday, 28 December 2011
I love Christmas
I know it's been a while since me last blog so let me say, first off, 'Appy Christmas to you all...
Sorry it's a bit late but then I am a dog..
This week I thought I'd write a little bit about Christmas and what I got up to. I had a fabulous time generally loafing about and enjoying some extra long walks, which is all splendid.
It got a bit stressful yesterday, though, as me humans took me shopping along Princes Street, Edinburgh's main shopping area. To be honest Renee went shopping and me and Richard sat outside the shops waiting for her to come out... and that's the bit that got stressful.
So many people wanted to say hello to me. I even had a lady take some professional photos of me for her doggy website. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for a photo shoot but I need time to prepare mentally and physically so I can look me best. I didn't have time to ruffle me fur so I looked all windswept and ragamuffin like.
Still, I did me best and she went away happy.
If it was down to me I'd have taken more time about me shopping... maybe thought about what I needed, written a list, thought about it more, amended it, re-written it and then maybe get to the shops about mid-May time.
But, no, me humans, who ain't great shoppers, it has to be said, had to do a smash and grab raid. Although, to be fair they weren't queueing at Next's door at 6.00am in the morning!
Why the desperate rush to do their shopping?
Well, Renee is in the middle of her busiest time, apparently. Something to do with a Tax Return deadline at the end of January.
Apparently, if you have to complete a Tax Return and you haven't done it yet, you've only got a few days left... until the end of January, in fact.
And if you don't do it on time, the penalties are pretty hefty. For example, if you are 1 day late there's a fixed fine of £100. If you're 3 months then it's £100 + £10 per day up to £900. If you're 6 months late it's all of the above + £300 or 5% of the tax due, whever is higher and if you're 12 months late it's all of the above +£300 or 5% of the tax due but you may be asked to pay 100% of the tax due as a penalty!
Don't quote me on all that, though, I'm just a dog. If you don't believe me you should have a look here: http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/sa/deadlines-penalties.htm#3
Wow.
So, Renee is focussed on helping people sort out their tax returns on time, hence the flying visit to the sales. If you need help, you should come a see her... make sure you ask her to do your tax return and not your shopping, though.
Sorry it's a bit late but then I am a dog..
This week I thought I'd write a little bit about Christmas and what I got up to. I had a fabulous time generally loafing about and enjoying some extra long walks, which is all splendid.
It got a bit stressful yesterday, though, as me humans took me shopping along Princes Street, Edinburgh's main shopping area. To be honest Renee went shopping and me and Richard sat outside the shops waiting for her to come out... and that's the bit that got stressful.
So many people wanted to say hello to me. I even had a lady take some professional photos of me for her doggy website. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for a photo shoot but I need time to prepare mentally and physically so I can look me best. I didn't have time to ruffle me fur so I looked all windswept and ragamuffin like.
Still, I did me best and she went away happy.
If it was down to me I'd have taken more time about me shopping... maybe thought about what I needed, written a list, thought about it more, amended it, re-written it and then maybe get to the shops about mid-May time.
But, no, me humans, who ain't great shoppers, it has to be said, had to do a smash and grab raid. Although, to be fair they weren't queueing at Next's door at 6.00am in the morning!
Why the desperate rush to do their shopping?
Well, Renee is in the middle of her busiest time, apparently. Something to do with a Tax Return deadline at the end of January.
Apparently, if you have to complete a Tax Return and you haven't done it yet, you've only got a few days left... until the end of January, in fact.
And if you don't do it on time, the penalties are pretty hefty. For example, if you are 1 day late there's a fixed fine of £100. If you're 3 months then it's £100 + £10 per day up to £900. If you're 6 months late it's all of the above + £300 or 5% of the tax due, whever is higher and if you're 12 months late it's all of the above +£300 or 5% of the tax due but you may be asked to pay 100% of the tax due as a penalty!
Don't quote me on all that, though, I'm just a dog. If you don't believe me you should have a look here: http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/sa/deadlines-penalties.htm#3
Wow.
So, Renee is focussed on helping people sort out their tax returns on time, hence the flying visit to the sales. If you need help, you should come a see her... make sure you ask her to do your tax return and not your shopping, though.
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