There's a book in all of us...

Me other human, Richard, has written a book and by lucky chance, some poor, gullible publisher has published it.

Hah...

I know I'm supposed to be dead impressed and all that but, c'mon, write about something worthwhile, like... sleeping, food or sniffing another dog's unmentionables.  I know... write it about how fabulous I am!

(I know he did that in last week's blog, but it was rather too tongue in cheek for my liking... and apart from that I wasn't sure I could believe him because he's always calling me names such as 'hopeless hound' and 'mutt'.

Jealousy is a cruel mistress.

But, no, he's not written his book about that sort of thing.  It's what you humans call 'a thriller'.  Nothing very thrilling in it if you ask me, just a load of guff about a guy who's brilliant in business but goes too far when putting a deal together.  He ends up double crossing the wrong person.  It turns out the man who's been double crossed is althogether too powerful and he sets about dismantling our hero's business, then his life.

It all ends with a chase across London and invloves some pretty shady deals, drugs, a bit of sex, double crosses and quite a lot of bad language.  I couldn't honestly let me mum read it!

I mean, what's exciting about that?

But then, as Renee says, it takes all sorts.  Whenever she's thought that something or someone wasn't quite her cup of tea but she'd got to know them, they've always been really interesting in their own way.

Now, she says, she doesn't judge anyone or anything based on what she thinks they'll be like.  She takes every new client who comes in on their own merits and, on every occasion, tries to help them achieve their goals.  She does this by getting to know their business and what they want from it.

It was Richard's goal to a write a book.  I'm still not going to read it, though... I can't.  I'm a dog.

P.S.  I can't read it - but you might like to... you can get it here:

http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-devils-deal/17156313

Barney

Hi all... it's Richard here instead of Barney.

In fact, I've sneaked in while he's not looking (being asleep and all that) to write his blog for him this week.

Now, it's come to my attention that Barney has been blowing his own trumpet somewhat (I've read last week's blog) and I thought I'd put the record straight about that ridiculous woofer.

For a start, his ears are just hilarious, especially after they've been trimmed a bit.  He looked a bit like Toyah when they were first cut now he looks like some kind of inca (except with ginger hair instead of black).

And he lies about sleeping most of the time.

And he's very annoying... no matter how far we walk him, even if it's for five hours (which we often do on a Saturday) the first thing he does when he gets home is pick up a toy and demand to be played with.

And he gets the hump, usually when he doesn't get fed roast chicken or he's not being played with or when we do housework or when we're in the office or when we go out for a drink and leave him at home or when we go away to work... in fact, he gets the hump at just about anytime.

He's a pest when we're out on a walk and won't come back because he's sniffing at another dog's whatsits.  And he looks at muddy puddles, looks at us (at which point we say 'Barney... Barneeeeyyyyy, no.  No, please don't do it'), looks back at the puddles and thinks, what the hell and dives right in.

He smells a bit, too.

But then a little girl in a pushchair stopped at the shop window.  As usual Barney ran to the window to make a fuss of her... it was very touching to see the little girl had a cuddly toy dog with her that looked exactly like our Barney and she just wanted to show him.

Whatever he may, that ridiculous dog is ours and he's pure... Barney.  We love him...

Come in to see him.  He loves the attention.

Doggy Cam

I always knew I was the star of the show and now my belief has been confirmed…


Me human is always thinking about how to get her message out there and she’s decided that a bit of video wouldn’t go amiss.

Now, I’m fairly sure, she’ll feature in her own video, just a little bit, but, let’s be honest, if she wants it to be a success, she’d be better having the camera concentrate on me.

After all, I have the Hollywood looks (I admit that I’m a little furrier than most Hollywood stars, but they’re all the poorer for it, I would say), I have the athletic body and I’m a much better actor than anyone I know currently on the screen.

Except maybe Jason Statham… he’s very articulate and versatile.

Anyway, me human asked Brian from Film By Numbers to put together some ideas for promoting TaxAssist Accountants on video. By far his best idea was the Doggy Cam, where you see client service from my point of view…

It got me wondering just what you might see through the doggy cam and here are my thoughts. (It would seem that not only am I a brilliant actor, I could be a hairy Martin Scorsese, too.

Shot 1: Me preparing to meet my public by having a really good clean around me unmentionables.

Shot 2: A potential client coming in to the shop and getting a really warm welcome from the team and especially me, and especially if they’ve bought a couple of doggy biscuits with them.

Shot 3: I suppose I should really let me human get her face in a shot, so how about I let her meet with the client and find out about their business? Of course, to make the shot interesting, I’ll be there, too, probably asleep under the desk.

Shot 4: The brand new client leaving the shop all happy because of the brilliant service they’ve received from me.

Shot 5: The same client coming back, just to drop their stuff in and have a chat with me, because that’s the way we work, here at TaxAssist Accountants… the door is always open and there’s always someone on hand to help.

Shot 6: Me doing work on the client’s books…

Actually, that might be a step too far… it just wouldn’t be believable. After all, I’ve got humans to do that kind of work for me and I haven’t really got the paws for typing.

Looking back on my ideas, I think we’re on to a sure fire winner here. You don’t think it’s a bit ‘me’ centric do you?

No, of course you don’t; that’s just not possible!

A dog of many flavours

You see, I’m a pretty perfect woofer...


I look good, I sound good and by God, I smell good.

That last bit isn’t true unless you believe the smell of river water is the equivalent Armani Pour Homme.

The point is, though, why would me owner need another dog? But then I looked around a bit and realised that me position as top dog might not be totally unassailable after all.

If she needed a dog to go really fast she could get one of those really thin dogs with a face like a dart... although there’s not much to get hold of... in fact I’ve seen more meat on a butcher’s apron... they are very fast, though, if you need a fast dog.

I have to admit, they’d probably edge it in a 100 yard dash if I challenged them to a race.

And what about if me owner wanted some serious protection. Now I’m no chicken, but I’m a lover not a fighter and I wouldn’t be much good in a dust up! But one of those huge, barrel chested mutts would... all slavering fangs and claws.

No, I thinks to meself, perhaps I need to be a bit careful...

It’s the same in a business. The business owner nearly always believes they are the best person to do everything in their business, even as it grows. The reality is, though, as their business grows there will be other people who are better suited to doing some of the tasks a business needs to be done...

For example, as a business grows admin gets more and more of a burden. Is better for the owner to do the admin or employ someone to do it whilst they go out and win more business?

Or maybe it’s the specialist jobs that need to be filled... maybe the business owner is really good at design but they need someone to go out and sell more... stuff.

Whatever.

The point I’m making is that there’s a dog for every task. The tricky bit is for the business owner to recognise there are other people about who can help them and then to let go of some of the tasks they may have thought only they can do.

I’ve recognised that I just might not the perfect woofer for every occasion, although I do still think I’m perfect for me owner.

My Birf'day

It was my birf’day last week.


Thanks for asking – I was 2 years old.

And, yes, I did get some presents. In fact, Richard said that me human Renee made more of a fuss about my birthday than she did of his... and quite right, too.

He got a bit shirty about the whole thing; a client came in and Renee proudly announced that I was now a big boy, being 2 years old. ‘Really’, said the bemused looking client, ‘What are you doing to celebrate?’

At which point Richard pipes up, ‘Oh, we’re going out for a meal later and then take in the theatre before going on to a club!’

Hmmm... none of which actually materialised, even though I was up for it.

We did, though, go to Hector’s bar in Stockbridge, which is one of those enlightened places in Edinburgh that lets in woofers. There we met some of Renee’s BNI buddies, one of whom, Keith Scotland, knew that it was my birthday.

I know he knew it was my birthday because his daughter bought me a present... a number of presents, in fact; including toys, sweets and biscuits.

Brilliant.

I love that girl.

I’ve never met her, but I love her!

But enough about my birthday (have I mentioned that it was my birthday last week?) and to business.

You see, that girl’s kindness really got me thinking about doing business locally. It really is all about relationships and getting to know people, doing little extra things that you don’t expect or want to be paid for but mean a lot to your customers... and will keep you in the forefront of their mind.

Now, some people think of this as being ‘above and beyond’ the call of duty. But not so... not in this current economic climate.

You see, there are a million people out there who do what you do... plumbing, decorating, accounts, mortgages.

But nobody does it, the way you do it. With those little extra touches, that little extra bit of customer service, the ‘value add’, as I’ve heard it called.

There’s a bloke, Brad Burton, the founder of 4Networking, who says that there’s a cycle to doing business with people: Meet – Like – Know – Trust.

He says that each phase is vital if you are going to do business with someone and that it’s unlikely that you do business with someone unless you build the relationship in this way.

Unless you send me presents on my Birthday like Keith Scotland’s daughter. The sequence goes like this:

Trust – Like – Know – Meet.

Works for me!

A slap in the face with a wet tail

I was walking my human last night (she needs a fair amount of exercise) when I met a Heinz dog.

I.E. A dog with at least 57 different varieties in there somewhere.  He was a big chap, with the body of a greyhound, the face of one of those wee terriers (I'd have liked to seen that coupling) and the tail of a large labrador.

And it was the tail that was the problem.

Let me explain a bit more.

This was the friendliest woofer (other than meself) I have ever come across.  His face was one big smile, he bounced rather than walked and he even went straight to my human when she didn't have any biscuits.  More fool him, if you ask me.

'Hullo' I says to meself, 'here's a fellow I can be friends with'.  So I went to give him my usual  handshake - that is to shove me nose towards his bottom, whilst he did the same to me.

And that's where the problems started.  I couldn't get anywhere near it.  While he was being generally very freindly and saying 'hello' to me all I got was SWISH - THWACK.

That powerful tail swiped me a good 'un across the nose.  I tried again: SWISH - THWACK.  Right across me bows again!

So I gave up, turned tail and wee'd on a bush instead.

We walked on a bit with me human looking quizically at me.  'You could have made a good friend there,' she said.  And she was probably right.

I wonder, in business, how many opportunities to do business, make and receive referrals and generally get a wider reputation in the market place, are missed because we limit our marketing activities to only those businesses which are exactly like us... in my case, a wonderfully handsome, if somewhat curly, labradoodle?

It could be that even a slight expansion of your business circle to include people and businesses who are 'different' could do wonders for your business.

I've certainly resolved to be more resilient when I meet other woofers... although I have to admit, that tail was a right nasty piece of work.

If someone barks at you, bark back...

I was down the pub the other night having a cold and refreshing beer.


Well, if I’m entirely honest, my human was having a refreshing beer and I was having a slightly muddy, warm and refreshing bowl of water.

Bit unfair if you ask me, but there you are; it’s not his fault if he has to drink that muck.

It was about eight o’clock and we were sitting in the beer garden because they wouldn’t let me go inside (again unfair) and three likely lads came walking down the path. One of them thought it would be hilarious to bark at me.

Well, what could I do?

I let rip with the manliest bark I could muster and, although I say so meself, it was pretty impressive. In fact, I would go so far to say that it was booming. It was so impressive that the bloke looked as though he was about to sh... well, let’s just say he looked pretty scared. A fact confirmed by his mate when th. likely lads came over to talk to us later.

(One of them stood a bit further back than the others, it has to be said!)

So what? What’s this got to do with business?

Me other human thought it had a direct relevance. Sometimes when you do things, it has unexpected consequences. When Richard asked her what the hell she was running on about on a Saturday night and did she want another glass of wine she went on to explain...

If you do things without really thinking them through, sometimes other things you didn’t expect happen as a direct result. For example, says she, how about the time when Richard had been trying to for weeks to sell to that customer and he got fed up with them constantly stalling. He called them and asked, all blunt like, ‘Do you want to go ahead, or what?’

Guess what.

Nope you’re quite wrong.

They said ‘yes’ and they’d been meaning to call for a few days!

Ah!

Of course, it was good news, but Richard, the fool, had been expecting a ‘no’ and hadn’t been planning to deliver this piece of work. He had to do a bit of scrambling (all behind the scenes) to actually deliver what he had promised.

And the moral of the story?

It could be about planning what you’re actually going to say or do as far as possible so you can remain in control of your business... but it’s not.

It’s: never bark at me in a pub garden, ‘cos I’m gonna bark back!