I don't go on about it but I have been slightly under the weather recently.
Vis a vis... I have a saw paw.
Like I said, I don't like talking about it but I think it's important that you, me adoring fans, understand what I'm going through in order that you are re-acquainted with my magnificence.
You see, I'm only recounting the story of how brave I am for your benefit. That's how much you mean to me.
(Okay, okay... I realise that last bit might have been more than just a tad over the top.)
Anyway, a couple of weeks ago I was walking me humans home when they (finally) noticed I wasn't moving as freely as I used to. In fact, I think I've sprained me knee in the very important pursuit of a stick. Which, I might add, I caught without a problem, killed and shredded in less than a minute.
I was on short walks for a few days and back to normal by Saturday so I had me normal 15 miler at the weekend.
Then yesterday I had just chivvied me human, Richard, out of the door (he's such as sluggard in the morning and I often have to stand for more than 30 seconds staring at the front door with me rear legs crossed before he takes the hint, pulls his trousers on and get me out of the house) when I felt a sudden pain in me front leg.
Agony, it was, I could hardly move. Renee came and picked me up and drove me to the office (Richard came too). I have to say I got a fair amount of sympathy as I hobbled around the office.
Ellie Musson from Kumo Ink came in and she always has a doggy treat for me and yesterday was no different. She gave me a chew which I wolfed down, wandered over to Graham Eden and promptly threw it up again.
Renee took me to the Butcher of Ferry Road later... also known as the vet.
This is the guy who two years ago decided the best way to treat clinkers - although I have to say, as clinkers go they were pretty spectacular; they had actually sealed me bum over - was to shave me nethers all the way back to the wood, then continue shaving virtually to me chest.
He shaved me so close I was itching for weeks... and like an elephant, I never forget.
So I may, in the past have had a little playful nip at his fingers. You know the sort of thing: a quick baring of the teeth. Nothing to it really.
Well, apparently, he's taken the hump at this and has made a note on me file that I'm a biter.
I mean fans, have any of you ever known me to bite..? Apart from you Jamie, and that was an accident; I meant to miss.
Anyway he had a quick look at me leg (from a safe distance) told Renee that I could only have 3 ten minute walks aday and those were to be on me lead, gave me a prescription for pain killers and antibiotics and charged £66 for the pleasure.
Still... could have been worse. He might have shaved me nads.
Then for good measure just to complete me wonderful day, when I got back to the office Ellie gave me another dog treat. I wandered over to Graham and threw up again.
You can probably tell that I don't liking talking about me injury, but I thought it was important you knew what was going on.
And today, me leg feels much better.
