I have to say, darling ones, I somewhat let meself down today.
You see, I'm very good around the dinner table. I don't beg for food (much). Oh, I do the ol' sad eyed stare and the hope that a tasty morsel might be slipped my way.
It never is, by the way. Slipped, that is. My way.
Nor, if food is left out, do I succumb like some of me weaker willed brethren and feel the need to steal from work tops and the such like.
Well trained and well behaved. That's your wonderful Barns.
But today, I just couldn't help it.
I'd taken me human, Dick Stupid, to Pets At Home to buy me some victuals... you know: biscuits and treats and that sort of thing.
He'd just got his credit card into the machine ready to pay when he happened to glance in my direction. Just as I'd nicked a pigs ear from the bucket next to the checkout. I mean, it's outrageous that they put that sort of thing next to the tills... it's just encouraging a dog like me to misbehave.
But not to worry... there were a couple of very sensible ladies in the queue just behind Dickie-do-dah who seemed to take a shine to me:
'Ahhhh...' (they said in unison) 'That's a shame. He couldn't resist it. Bless him. He's so gorgeous, let him have the ear.'
So Dick hands over the extra 99p and I got to keep the ear. And quite right, too. After all, the pig didn't need it any more.
I'm not sure if there's a moral to this story?
I dunno:
Don't steal pigs ears, maybe.
Or:
If you are going to steal pigs ears, make sure there are two ladies who can smooth over the indiscretion in close vicinity.
No, it's none of those. It's:
Be good... and if you can't be good, be careful.
I'll be more careful next time.
After all, you can't be good all the time!
