I love Christmas

I know it's been a while since me last blog so let me say, first off, 'Appy Christmas to you all...

Sorry it's a bit late but then I am a dog..

This week I thought I'd write a little bit about Christmas and what I got up to.  I had a fabulous time generally loafing about and enjoying some extra long walks, which is all splendid.

It got a bit stressful yesterday, though, as me humans took me shopping along Princes Street, Edinburgh's main shopping area.  To be honest Renee went shopping and me and Richard sat outside the shops waiting for her to come out... and that's the bit that got stressful.

So many people wanted to say hello to me.  I even had a lady take some professional photos of me for her doggy website.  Don't get me wrong, I'm all for a photo shoot but I need time to prepare mentally and physically so I can look me best.  I didn't have time to ruffle me fur so I looked all windswept and ragamuffin like.

Still, I did me best and she went away happy.

If it was down to me I'd have taken more time about me shopping... maybe thought about what I needed, written a list, thought about it more, amended it, re-written it and then maybe get to the shops about mid-May time.

But, no, me humans, who ain't great shoppers, it has to be said, had to do a smash and grab raid.  Although, to be fair they weren't queueing at Next's door at 6.00am in the morning!

Why the desperate rush to do their shopping?

Well, Renee is in the middle of her busiest time, apparently.  Something to do with a Tax Return deadline at the end of January.

Apparently, if you have to complete a Tax Return and you haven't done it yet, you've only got a few days left... until the end of January, in fact.

And if you don't do it on time, the penalties are pretty hefty.  For example, if you are 1 day late there's a fixed fine of £100.  If you're 3 months then it's £100 + £10 per day up to £900.  If you're 6 months late it's all of the above + £300 or 5% of the tax due, whever is higher and if you're 12 months late it's all of the above +£300 or 5% of the tax due but you may be asked to pay 100% of the tax due as a penalty!

Don't quote me on all that, though, I'm just a dog.  If you don't believe me you should have a look here: http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/sa/deadlines-penalties.htm#3

Wow.

So, Renee is focussed on helping people sort out their tax returns on time, hence the flying visit to the sales.  If you need help, you should come a see her... make sure you ask her to do your tax return and not your shopping, though.

Know why you're doing it

As a woofer I sometimes have trouble understanding you humans... I often think you could benefit from being more dog like.

You see, I know exactly why I do what I do; which is basically lying around, sleeping until someone takes me for a walk or plays with me.

But can I get me human, Renee, to see the benefits of this.

No.

She's very busy working very, very hard on her business.

And this is fine because I actually think she knows why she's doing it. I've heard her talk about her plan for the business, what she's going to do when it's finished and what she wants to do when she retires (although I think it's a little early to be thinking about retirement!)

But how many people out there really know why they are running their own busiess... I mean REALLY know why they're doing it.

Oh, I think there are plenty of people out there who have a vague notion about why they started in business. heard me other human talking about it today. He was working with a group of people new to business and they were saying things like 'I'm fed up lining other people's pockets... I want to earn money for myself' or 'I want the freedomn to come and go as I please!' Or 'I've always wanted to be self employed.'

All very good and really good reasons for starting a business... but not enough to give up being so dog-like... and often not true either.

Being a business owner often, especially in the early years, can cost and awful lot of money, particularly as the business is established. Of course, as the business flourishes financial rewards often follow... but by no means on every occasion.

But it's actually the time element which is the biggest issue. If you are starting a business to get back some of your prescious time, you need to think again.

You see, not only doyou have to do whatever it is you for your custiomers but you have to do VAT returns, admin, invoicing, payroll, paperwork, paperwork, paperwork...

Becoming self employed is like having two jobs. The one you do for your customers and the one you do to make sure the business works properly.

Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't go into business. However, I am saying you have to sort out
your reasoning for doing it. What do you want to get out of it? By when? How are you going to do it?

In this way, it's easier to deal with the really hard work that you're going to have to get into being self employed.

Or you could be more dog-like and loaf about for a bit.

There's a book in all of us...

Me other human, Richard, has written a book and by lucky chance, some poor, gullible publisher has published it.

Hah...

I know I'm supposed to be dead impressed and all that but, c'mon, write about something worthwhile, like... sleeping, food or sniffing another dog's unmentionables.  I know... write it about how fabulous I am!

(I know he did that in last week's blog, but it was rather too tongue in cheek for my liking... and apart from that I wasn't sure I could believe him because he's always calling me names such as 'hopeless hound' and 'mutt'.

Jealousy is a cruel mistress.

But, no, he's not written his book about that sort of thing.  It's what you humans call 'a thriller'.  Nothing very thrilling in it if you ask me, just a load of guff about a guy who's brilliant in business but goes too far when putting a deal together.  He ends up double crossing the wrong person.  It turns out the man who's been double crossed is althogether too powerful and he sets about dismantling our hero's business, then his life.

It all ends with a chase across London and invloves some pretty shady deals, drugs, a bit of sex, double crosses and quite a lot of bad language.  I couldn't honestly let me mum read it!

I mean, what's exciting about that?

But then, as Renee says, it takes all sorts.  Whenever she's thought that something or someone wasn't quite her cup of tea but she'd got to know them, they've always been really interesting in their own way.

Now, she says, she doesn't judge anyone or anything based on what she thinks they'll be like.  She takes every new client who comes in on their own merits and, on every occasion, tries to help them achieve their goals.  She does this by getting to know their business and what they want from it.

It was Richard's goal to a write a book.  I'm still not going to read it, though... I can't.  I'm a dog.

P.S.  I can't read it - but you might like to... you can get it here:

http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-devils-deal/17156313

Barney

Hi all... it's Richard here instead of Barney.

In fact, I've sneaked in while he's not looking (being asleep and all that) to write his blog for him this week.

Now, it's come to my attention that Barney has been blowing his own trumpet somewhat (I've read last week's blog) and I thought I'd put the record straight about that ridiculous woofer.

For a start, his ears are just hilarious, especially after they've been trimmed a bit.  He looked a bit like Toyah when they were first cut now he looks like some kind of inca (except with ginger hair instead of black).

And he lies about sleeping most of the time.

And he's very annoying... no matter how far we walk him, even if it's for five hours (which we often do on a Saturday) the first thing he does when he gets home is pick up a toy and demand to be played with.

And he gets the hump, usually when he doesn't get fed roast chicken or he's not being played with or when we do housework or when we're in the office or when we go out for a drink and leave him at home or when we go away to work... in fact, he gets the hump at just about anytime.

He's a pest when we're out on a walk and won't come back because he's sniffing at another dog's whatsits.  And he looks at muddy puddles, looks at us (at which point we say 'Barney... Barneeeeyyyyy, no.  No, please don't do it'), looks back at the puddles and thinks, what the hell and dives right in.

He smells a bit, too.

But then a little girl in a pushchair stopped at the shop window.  As usual Barney ran to the window to make a fuss of her... it was very touching to see the little girl had a cuddly toy dog with her that looked exactly like our Barney and she just wanted to show him.

Whatever he may, that ridiculous dog is ours and he's pure... Barney.  We love him...

Come in to see him.  He loves the attention.

Doggy Cam

I always knew I was the star of the show and now my belief has been confirmed…


Me human is always thinking about how to get her message out there and she’s decided that a bit of video wouldn’t go amiss.

Now, I’m fairly sure, she’ll feature in her own video, just a little bit, but, let’s be honest, if she wants it to be a success, she’d be better having the camera concentrate on me.

After all, I have the Hollywood looks (I admit that I’m a little furrier than most Hollywood stars, but they’re all the poorer for it, I would say), I have the athletic body and I’m a much better actor than anyone I know currently on the screen.

Except maybe Jason Statham… he’s very articulate and versatile.

Anyway, me human asked Brian from Film By Numbers to put together some ideas for promoting TaxAssist Accountants on video. By far his best idea was the Doggy Cam, where you see client service from my point of view…

It got me wondering just what you might see through the doggy cam and here are my thoughts. (It would seem that not only am I a brilliant actor, I could be a hairy Martin Scorsese, too.

Shot 1: Me preparing to meet my public by having a really good clean around me unmentionables.

Shot 2: A potential client coming in to the shop and getting a really warm welcome from the team and especially me, and especially if they’ve bought a couple of doggy biscuits with them.

Shot 3: I suppose I should really let me human get her face in a shot, so how about I let her meet with the client and find out about their business? Of course, to make the shot interesting, I’ll be there, too, probably asleep under the desk.

Shot 4: The brand new client leaving the shop all happy because of the brilliant service they’ve received from me.

Shot 5: The same client coming back, just to drop their stuff in and have a chat with me, because that’s the way we work, here at TaxAssist Accountants… the door is always open and there’s always someone on hand to help.

Shot 6: Me doing work on the client’s books…

Actually, that might be a step too far… it just wouldn’t be believable. After all, I’ve got humans to do that kind of work for me and I haven’t really got the paws for typing.

Looking back on my ideas, I think we’re on to a sure fire winner here. You don’t think it’s a bit ‘me’ centric do you?

No, of course you don’t; that’s just not possible!

A dog of many flavours

You see, I’m a pretty perfect woofer...


I look good, I sound good and by God, I smell good.

That last bit isn’t true unless you believe the smell of river water is the equivalent Armani Pour Homme.

The point is, though, why would me owner need another dog? But then I looked around a bit and realised that me position as top dog might not be totally unassailable after all.

If she needed a dog to go really fast she could get one of those really thin dogs with a face like a dart... although there’s not much to get hold of... in fact I’ve seen more meat on a butcher’s apron... they are very fast, though, if you need a fast dog.

I have to admit, they’d probably edge it in a 100 yard dash if I challenged them to a race.

And what about if me owner wanted some serious protection. Now I’m no chicken, but I’m a lover not a fighter and I wouldn’t be much good in a dust up! But one of those huge, barrel chested mutts would... all slavering fangs and claws.

No, I thinks to meself, perhaps I need to be a bit careful...

It’s the same in a business. The business owner nearly always believes they are the best person to do everything in their business, even as it grows. The reality is, though, as their business grows there will be other people who are better suited to doing some of the tasks a business needs to be done...

For example, as a business grows admin gets more and more of a burden. Is better for the owner to do the admin or employ someone to do it whilst they go out and win more business?

Or maybe it’s the specialist jobs that need to be filled... maybe the business owner is really good at design but they need someone to go out and sell more... stuff.

Whatever.

The point I’m making is that there’s a dog for every task. The tricky bit is for the business owner to recognise there are other people about who can help them and then to let go of some of the tasks they may have thought only they can do.

I’ve recognised that I just might not the perfect woofer for every occasion, although I do still think I’m perfect for me owner.

My Birf'day

It was my birf’day last week.


Thanks for asking – I was 2 years old.

And, yes, I did get some presents. In fact, Richard said that me human Renee made more of a fuss about my birthday than she did of his... and quite right, too.

He got a bit shirty about the whole thing; a client came in and Renee proudly announced that I was now a big boy, being 2 years old. ‘Really’, said the bemused looking client, ‘What are you doing to celebrate?’

At which point Richard pipes up, ‘Oh, we’re going out for a meal later and then take in the theatre before going on to a club!’

Hmmm... none of which actually materialised, even though I was up for it.

We did, though, go to Hector’s bar in Stockbridge, which is one of those enlightened places in Edinburgh that lets in woofers. There we met some of Renee’s BNI buddies, one of whom, Keith Scotland, knew that it was my birthday.

I know he knew it was my birthday because his daughter bought me a present... a number of presents, in fact; including toys, sweets and biscuits.

Brilliant.

I love that girl.

I’ve never met her, but I love her!

But enough about my birthday (have I mentioned that it was my birthday last week?) and to business.

You see, that girl’s kindness really got me thinking about doing business locally. It really is all about relationships and getting to know people, doing little extra things that you don’t expect or want to be paid for but mean a lot to your customers... and will keep you in the forefront of their mind.

Now, some people think of this as being ‘above and beyond’ the call of duty. But not so... not in this current economic climate.

You see, there are a million people out there who do what you do... plumbing, decorating, accounts, mortgages.

But nobody does it, the way you do it. With those little extra touches, that little extra bit of customer service, the ‘value add’, as I’ve heard it called.

There’s a bloke, Brad Burton, the founder of 4Networking, who says that there’s a cycle to doing business with people: Meet – Like – Know – Trust.

He says that each phase is vital if you are going to do business with someone and that it’s unlikely that you do business with someone unless you build the relationship in this way.

Unless you send me presents on my Birthday like Keith Scotland’s daughter. The sequence goes like this:

Trust – Like – Know – Meet.

Works for me!

A slap in the face with a wet tail

I was walking my human last night (she needs a fair amount of exercise) when I met a Heinz dog.

I.E. A dog with at least 57 different varieties in there somewhere.  He was a big chap, with the body of a greyhound, the face of one of those wee terriers (I'd have liked to seen that coupling) and the tail of a large labrador.

And it was the tail that was the problem.

Let me explain a bit more.

This was the friendliest woofer (other than meself) I have ever come across.  His face was one big smile, he bounced rather than walked and he even went straight to my human when she didn't have any biscuits.  More fool him, if you ask me.

'Hullo' I says to meself, 'here's a fellow I can be friends with'.  So I went to give him my usual  handshake - that is to shove me nose towards his bottom, whilst he did the same to me.

And that's where the problems started.  I couldn't get anywhere near it.  While he was being generally very freindly and saying 'hello' to me all I got was SWISH - THWACK.

That powerful tail swiped me a good 'un across the nose.  I tried again: SWISH - THWACK.  Right across me bows again!

So I gave up, turned tail and wee'd on a bush instead.

We walked on a bit with me human looking quizically at me.  'You could have made a good friend there,' she said.  And she was probably right.

I wonder, in business, how many opportunities to do business, make and receive referrals and generally get a wider reputation in the market place, are missed because we limit our marketing activities to only those businesses which are exactly like us... in my case, a wonderfully handsome, if somewhat curly, labradoodle?

It could be that even a slight expansion of your business circle to include people and businesses who are 'different' could do wonders for your business.

I've certainly resolved to be more resilient when I meet other woofers... although I have to admit, that tail was a right nasty piece of work.

If someone barks at you, bark back...

I was down the pub the other night having a cold and refreshing beer.


Well, if I’m entirely honest, my human was having a refreshing beer and I was having a slightly muddy, warm and refreshing bowl of water.

Bit unfair if you ask me, but there you are; it’s not his fault if he has to drink that muck.

It was about eight o’clock and we were sitting in the beer garden because they wouldn’t let me go inside (again unfair) and three likely lads came walking down the path. One of them thought it would be hilarious to bark at me.

Well, what could I do?

I let rip with the manliest bark I could muster and, although I say so meself, it was pretty impressive. In fact, I would go so far to say that it was booming. It was so impressive that the bloke looked as though he was about to sh... well, let’s just say he looked pretty scared. A fact confirmed by his mate when th. likely lads came over to talk to us later.

(One of them stood a bit further back than the others, it has to be said!)

So what? What’s this got to do with business?

Me other human thought it had a direct relevance. Sometimes when you do things, it has unexpected consequences. When Richard asked her what the hell she was running on about on a Saturday night and did she want another glass of wine she went on to explain...

If you do things without really thinking them through, sometimes other things you didn’t expect happen as a direct result. For example, says she, how about the time when Richard had been trying to for weeks to sell to that customer and he got fed up with them constantly stalling. He called them and asked, all blunt like, ‘Do you want to go ahead, or what?’

Guess what.

Nope you’re quite wrong.

They said ‘yes’ and they’d been meaning to call for a few days!

Ah!

Of course, it was good news, but Richard, the fool, had been expecting a ‘no’ and hadn’t been planning to deliver this piece of work. He had to do a bit of scrambling (all behind the scenes) to actually deliver what he had promised.

And the moral of the story?

It could be about planning what you’re actually going to say or do as far as possible so you can remain in control of your business... but it’s not.

It’s: never bark at me in a pub garden, ‘cos I’m gonna bark back!

The lady with the hots for me

An email has flooded in to the barney@taxassist.co.uk inbox.


Worryingly it seems as though the very first communication could be my own stalker... the email starts with the words: ‘Barney, how did you know I have the hots for you?’

Well, it stands to reason, doesn’t it? Everyone has the hots for me and who can blame them? I certainly can’t blame Fiona Callan from Fife!

Leaving aside my new admirer’s obvious and entirely understandable infatuation with me, she also had some excellent ideas about induction. If you want to know why she was first expressing undying love for me and then explaining what she does for new members of staff on their induction, you need to read my previous blog.

Having said that, what she does is brilliant.

Induction starts well before the new team member’s first day at work. They get sent a voucher so they can go and buy some of the product their new employer sells. Accompanying the vouchers is a detailed workbook explaining the brand and what they should be experiencing during their purchase.

This theme is continued when they actually join the business and the whole process is cohesive and joined up.

Admittedly, Fiona does work for a larger organisation, but that needn’t matter. It’s easy to make a new employee feel welcome, valued and part of the team from day one. In turn, this will make them more efficient, motivated and productive... quicker.

All you need to do is have some basic things in place. Things like an email address before they arrive (if that’s what they need), a workstation, a locker... having all these things ready makes it seems as though you are ready for your new employee, rather than their arrival being a big surprise and having to scramble to take up the slack.

The other thing you should do is set aside time for them on day one, so you can show them the ropes (and diodes and electrodes if that floats your boat). Having a plan for their first day, week and, probably, month really will work wonders for your new member of staff.

Unlike me, of course, who had to wait for nearly a year before I got my email address. I think it was a bit harsh, though, to suggest I take my humans to task for not making me feel like the bees knees. (I would usually talk about the dogs’ doodahs at this point, but you never know who might be reading.)

Having said that, I think they have learned their lesson... two new members of staff coming over the next couple of weeks and plans a afoot already for their arrival.

By the way, if you have a question about business, or a comment to make you can email me at barney@taxassist.co.uk. I’ll answer every email I receive in the blog... from a doggy point of view, of course!

I've Arrived

It's only been just over a year, but now I know that I'm a woofer who's appreciated in this office.

Yes, I have my own email address:

barney@taxassist.co.uk

All I can say is: 'It's about time!'

You see, I'm an employee of this business like any other and I need to know that I'm valued... just like everyone else.

Now that the economic conditions seem to be easing a little bit (you may ask how, as a labradoodle, I know about economic conditions.  It's quite simple.  I'm getting a better class of dog biscuit of course!) and businesses are taking on people again, it's worth considering motivation just a little.

Think about it for a moment.

Throughout the recruitment process you've been telling your candidates that your business is a brilliant place to work in the hope of attracting the very best of them.

And then they turn up on day 1 and you don't have an email address for them.  Or a PC.  Or a desk.  Or a mug.

What does that say to them.  I know what it doesn't say to me: 'This is a great place to work.'

Just very simple things, like making sure there are enough mugs and getting email addresses sorted out before your new member of staff arrives will increase their motivation and make them better employees.

That's why I'm pleased to get my new email address but wish Renee had got it earlier.

Now that you can get me at barney@taxassist.co.uk why don't you give it a go?  You can send me any of your business problems and I'll reply.  I can't promise that my answers will help, I'm a dog.

They might be funny, though!  And I might publish them on my blog...

Help

My human needs help.

And I’m the woofer to give it to her. She has all my insights and experience at her disposal; but does she ask for my wisdom? No!

But why is she in so much need of my (free) advice?

It’s simple. She’s falling into the age old trap that some of you furless ones call ‘victim of her own success’.

I first got an inkling that things need changing when she cancelled a networking meeting because she was too busy. Too busy! I ask you!

But then the penny really dropped with me when I heard her say to my other human that she ‘hadn’t had chance to do any of her work today because she’d been out marketing.’

Now, I’m sure that, like me, you can see the obvious flaw in her thinking... but, just in case you can’t I shall point it out to you. She runs a business that happens to be an accountancy practice. She has two, very good and very capable, people working for her to complete the accounts and do the ‘numbers’ work... (which is what she meant when she said ‘work’).

Her job is to make sure the business continues to grow in the right way, that clients are happy with the work we do and to manager her team.

Or, to put it a simpler way, networking is the work.

There, can I put it any plainer than that?

I don’t think so...

For those of you who haven’t the benefit a furry business adviser, let me give you the full blast of me wisdom on this matter.

Most people who run their own business are very good at what they do, whether it be plumber, carpenter, consultant or anything else for that matter. If they are any good then, with a little marketing and effort, they will get busy. They start getting referrals and get busier. Soon they are so busy they meet themselves coming back. (That’s a doggy phrase).

At this point they should either get someone to help them so they can concentrate on running the business or they should give up, ‘cos they are going to be knackered for the rest of their lives. Of course, they could just refuse to take on any more business and put their prices up. There is that option, I will concede!

Given, though, that my human is building a business, which option should she be pursuing? I think it’s option 1. Get some more help do to the accounts... so she can get on with the real work.

I love a nice lamppost

I know it’s hard to believe but I may have made a bit of a fool of myself recently.


It’s not entirely my fault because it’s not easy concentrating on more than one thing at a time and I haven’t quite got the hang of it.

You see, I was taking Renee (my human) for a walk and she was on her lead as she usually is when we’re walking on the pavement.

It was a nice enough day and my attention was taken by a rather nice looking bitch who was almost as good looking as me. Oh, she fluttered her eyes at me, circled round a bit, waggled her rear end and generally made her interest in me pretty clear.

But Renee, apparently, was in a bit of a hurry. Although what could be more important than a romantic liaison with a fine looking Labrador beats the living daylights out of me. That’s by the by... she was in a hurry so I had no choice other than to follow on.

I took a last lingering look back at my latest conquest in the hope of getting a last sight of that lovely tail... and walked smack into a lamppost.

Damn me, but it hurt my beak and I have to admit I was a bit shocked for a few minutes.

As soon as I gathered me wits, though, I sauntered on as thought nothing had happened; that was until I took a sneaky peak at Renee, who, it so happens, saw the whole thing and was killing herself laughing.

What could I do?

I Mustered what little dignity was left to me, put me nose and me tail in the air and walked on, jaunty as anything, just to show her I didn’t care that her sides were splitting.

It turns out, though, that some good came of my ‘walking-into-a-lamppost’ incident.

Apparently it reminded Renee, that it’s really important to keep an overview of the business as well as looking after all the details. If you get so hung up on the day to day detail of the business you’re likely to walk right into a lamppost because you won’t be looking where you’re going.

It’s not an easy trick, mind you, having all these different views, so it’s always best to schedule time out to keep a check on the big picture... and, if you can, do it with someone else; someone who’ll help you avoid a nasty collision by really challenging you on where you are going.

By the way, my snozzle is much better now... thanks for asking.

Taxadoodle

It's a funny time of year for Tax Expert Dog... like me.

Something called the Tax Return Deadline is approaching and it seems to have got a lot of people excited.

For a laid back, chilled out dog like me it's a bit bizarre to see people coming in with great bundles of paperwork, waving their Tax Returns (or even 2 Tax Returns (this year's and last year's)) and frowning in a worried sort of way.

They disappear into the office with my human and emerge sometime later like different people.  The frown is gone, their shoulders are unbowed and there's invariably a bounce in their step... as though some enormous weight has been lifted from their shoulders.

Okay, I may be exaggerating just a little bit, but not by much...

According to Renee, this is stressful time for people who need to complete their Tax Returns by 31st January.  If they haven't done so yet, it means they are cutting things a little fine and it usually means there's something on the form they need help with.  They know they have to do something, they just don't know what.

Personally, I don't know what all the fuss is about, but then I ate the last pen I picked up (and very painful it was a day or so later.  An interesting shade of blue, though).

So, what's to do?

Well you can either fill in your return yourself, which is fine.  Or you could get someone to do it for you, which is also good.  The advantage of having someone do it for you is they will probably know more about what you can claim for and could well reduce the amount of tax you end up paying.

Worth it?  Well, maybe, but worth a conversation at least.