Hi all... it's Richard here instead of Barney.
In fact, I've sneaked in while he's not looking (being asleep and all that) to write his blog for him this week.
Now, it's come to my attention that Barney has been blowing his own trumpet somewhat (I've read last week's blog) and I thought I'd put the record straight about that ridiculous woofer.
For a start, his ears are just hilarious, especially after they've been trimmed a bit. He looked a bit like Toyah when they were first cut now he looks like some kind of inca (except with ginger hair instead of black).
And he lies about sleeping most of the time.
And he's very annoying... no matter how far we walk him, even if it's for five hours (which we often do on a Saturday) the first thing he does when he gets home is pick up a toy and demand to be played with.
And he gets the hump, usually when he doesn't get fed roast chicken or he's not being played with or when we do housework or when we're in the office or when we go out for a drink and leave him at home or when we go away to work... in fact, he gets the hump at just about anytime.
He's a pest when we're out on a walk and won't come back because he's sniffing at another dog's whatsits. And he looks at muddy puddles, looks at us (at which point we say 'Barney... Barneeeeyyyyy, no. No, please don't do it'), looks back at the puddles and thinks, what the hell and dives right in.
He smells a bit, too.
But then a little girl in a pushchair stopped at the shop window. As usual Barney ran to the window to make a fuss of her... it was very touching to see the little girl had a cuddly toy dog with her that looked exactly like our Barney and she just wanted to show him.
Whatever he may, that ridiculous dog is ours and he's pure... Barney. We love him...
Come in to see him. He loves the attention.
Tuesday 27 September 2011
Wednesday 14 September 2011
Doggy Cam
I always knew I was the star of the show and now my belief has been confirmed…
Me human is always thinking about how to get her message out there and she’s decided that a bit of video wouldn’t go amiss.
Now, I’m fairly sure, she’ll feature in her own video, just a little bit, but, let’s be honest, if she wants it to be a success, she’d be better having the camera concentrate on me.
After all, I have the Hollywood looks (I admit that I’m a little furrier than most Hollywood stars, but they’re all the poorer for it, I would say), I have the athletic body and I’m a much better actor than anyone I know currently on the screen.
Except maybe Jason Statham… he’s very articulate and versatile.
Anyway, me human asked Brian from Film By Numbers to put together some ideas for promoting TaxAssist Accountants on video. By far his best idea was the Doggy Cam, where you see client service from my point of view…
It got me wondering just what you might see through the doggy cam and here are my thoughts. (It would seem that not only am I a brilliant actor, I could be a hairy Martin Scorsese, too.
Shot 1: Me preparing to meet my public by having a really good clean around me unmentionables.
Shot 2: A potential client coming in to the shop and getting a really warm welcome from the team and especially me, and especially if they’ve bought a couple of doggy biscuits with them.
Shot 3: I suppose I should really let me human get her face in a shot, so how about I let her meet with the client and find out about their business? Of course, to make the shot interesting, I’ll be there, too, probably asleep under the desk.
Shot 4: The brand new client leaving the shop all happy because of the brilliant service they’ve received from me.
Shot 5: The same client coming back, just to drop their stuff in and have a chat with me, because that’s the way we work, here at TaxAssist Accountants… the door is always open and there’s always someone on hand to help.
Shot 6: Me doing work on the client’s books…
Actually, that might be a step too far… it just wouldn’t be believable. After all, I’ve got humans to do that kind of work for me and I haven’t really got the paws for typing.
Looking back on my ideas, I think we’re on to a sure fire winner here. You don’t think it’s a bit ‘me’ centric do you?
No, of course you don’t; that’s just not possible!
Me human is always thinking about how to get her message out there and she’s decided that a bit of video wouldn’t go amiss.
Now, I’m fairly sure, she’ll feature in her own video, just a little bit, but, let’s be honest, if she wants it to be a success, she’d be better having the camera concentrate on me.
After all, I have the Hollywood looks (I admit that I’m a little furrier than most Hollywood stars, but they’re all the poorer for it, I would say), I have the athletic body and I’m a much better actor than anyone I know currently on the screen.
Except maybe Jason Statham… he’s very articulate and versatile.
Anyway, me human asked Brian from Film By Numbers to put together some ideas for promoting TaxAssist Accountants on video. By far his best idea was the Doggy Cam, where you see client service from my point of view…
It got me wondering just what you might see through the doggy cam and here are my thoughts. (It would seem that not only am I a brilliant actor, I could be a hairy Martin Scorsese, too.
Shot 1: Me preparing to meet my public by having a really good clean around me unmentionables.
Shot 2: A potential client coming in to the shop and getting a really warm welcome from the team and especially me, and especially if they’ve bought a couple of doggy biscuits with them.
Shot 3: I suppose I should really let me human get her face in a shot, so how about I let her meet with the client and find out about their business? Of course, to make the shot interesting, I’ll be there, too, probably asleep under the desk.
Shot 4: The brand new client leaving the shop all happy because of the brilliant service they’ve received from me.
Shot 5: The same client coming back, just to drop their stuff in and have a chat with me, because that’s the way we work, here at TaxAssist Accountants… the door is always open and there’s always someone on hand to help.
Shot 6: Me doing work on the client’s books…
Actually, that might be a step too far… it just wouldn’t be believable. After all, I’ve got humans to do that kind of work for me and I haven’t really got the paws for typing.
Looking back on my ideas, I think we’re on to a sure fire winner here. You don’t think it’s a bit ‘me’ centric do you?
No, of course you don’t; that’s just not possible!
Tuesday 6 September 2011
A dog of many flavours
You see, I’m a pretty perfect woofer...
I look good, I sound good and by God, I smell good.
That last bit isn’t true unless you believe the smell of river water is the equivalent Armani Pour Homme.
The point is, though, why would me owner need another dog? But then I looked around a bit and realised that me position as top dog might not be totally unassailable after all.
If she needed a dog to go really fast she could get one of those really thin dogs with a face like a dart... although there’s not much to get hold of... in fact I’ve seen more meat on a butcher’s apron... they are very fast, though, if you need a fast dog.
I have to admit, they’d probably edge it in a 100 yard dash if I challenged them to a race.
And what about if me owner wanted some serious protection. Now I’m no chicken, but I’m a lover not a fighter and I wouldn’t be much good in a dust up! But one of those huge, barrel chested mutts would... all slavering fangs and claws.
No, I thinks to meself, perhaps I need to be a bit careful...
It’s the same in a business. The business owner nearly always believes they are the best person to do everything in their business, even as it grows. The reality is, though, as their business grows there will be other people who are better suited to doing some of the tasks a business needs to be done...
For example, as a business grows admin gets more and more of a burden. Is better for the owner to do the admin or employ someone to do it whilst they go out and win more business?
Or maybe it’s the specialist jobs that need to be filled... maybe the business owner is really good at design but they need someone to go out and sell more... stuff.
Whatever.
The point I’m making is that there’s a dog for every task. The tricky bit is for the business owner to recognise there are other people about who can help them and then to let go of some of the tasks they may have thought only they can do.
I’ve recognised that I just might not the perfect woofer for every occasion, although I do still think I’m perfect for me owner.
I look good, I sound good and by God, I smell good.
That last bit isn’t true unless you believe the smell of river water is the equivalent Armani Pour Homme.
The point is, though, why would me owner need another dog? But then I looked around a bit and realised that me position as top dog might not be totally unassailable after all.
If she needed a dog to go really fast she could get one of those really thin dogs with a face like a dart... although there’s not much to get hold of... in fact I’ve seen more meat on a butcher’s apron... they are very fast, though, if you need a fast dog.
I have to admit, they’d probably edge it in a 100 yard dash if I challenged them to a race.
And what about if me owner wanted some serious protection. Now I’m no chicken, but I’m a lover not a fighter and I wouldn’t be much good in a dust up! But one of those huge, barrel chested mutts would... all slavering fangs and claws.
No, I thinks to meself, perhaps I need to be a bit careful...
It’s the same in a business. The business owner nearly always believes they are the best person to do everything in their business, even as it grows. The reality is, though, as their business grows there will be other people who are better suited to doing some of the tasks a business needs to be done...
For example, as a business grows admin gets more and more of a burden. Is better for the owner to do the admin or employ someone to do it whilst they go out and win more business?
Or maybe it’s the specialist jobs that need to be filled... maybe the business owner is really good at design but they need someone to go out and sell more... stuff.
Whatever.
The point I’m making is that there’s a dog for every task. The tricky bit is for the business owner to recognise there are other people about who can help them and then to let go of some of the tasks they may have thought only they can do.
I’ve recognised that I just might not the perfect woofer for every occasion, although I do still think I’m perfect for me owner.
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