Almost Christmas

I don't know about you but I'm sufferin'(yes, sufferin') from a dichotomy of feelings about the festive season.

On the one hand Nic'la from the office is so excited it's become infectious.

In fact, she loves Christmas so much Uncle Dick put her in charge of decorations and the general ambience in the ol' place throughout December.

Of course, her first question was: 'How much can I spend?'

'Oh, I was thinking about £100 on decorations,' says Dickie Boy.

The next thing he knows Nic'la has sent him a link to a specialist Christmas Tree website requesting that he purchase an 8 foot pine effect Christmas Tree... for £116.99.

'But, but, but...' splutters Dick.  'That's over your budget!'

'No, no, no,' responds Nic'la.  You said I could have £100 on decorations.  The tree is not part of the decorations; the decorations hang on the tree.'

There was no escaping the logic so Dick orders the tree.  But he gets his own back a bit.  He's ordered the tree to turn up at Nic'la's home.  She lives in Dunbar and gets the train into work every day!

So, we're well and truly in the build up to Christmas in the office which is good.  I feel quite festive.

But the other side of my particular dichotomy is that it's so bloomin' warm.  And I'm wearing a fur coat in case you hadn't noticed.

Not that that's possible, of course... not noticing me and my magnificent pelt.

A couple of weeks ago I overheard Renee telling Dick Numpty that it was going to be a long, hard and cold winter.  With snow, ice and freezing conditions from start to finish.

And that would have been fine.  I don't mind that... you kind of expect it living up here in the wilds of the North.  And it's only right and proper over Christmas... log fires, long walks and all that.

But this warmth.

It just ain't right.

The leaves aren't off the trees yet and Dick Dumbo is too hot in his human coat when we walk to work in the mornings.

In short - I'm confused and I don't like it.

Dick tried to make a business simile from my misery which I think is just a little self indulgent and quite a lot of a liberty.

He reckons that if your customers don't know what to expect they'll get the hump like what I've got.

The problem is, like me, they have expectations whether you set those expectations or not.  I expect winter to be cold and I already feel short changed.  Why do I expect winter to be cold?  Because it has been in previous years, of course.

So, if your customers have received one level of service, they'll expect it again... unless you actually tell 'em things have changed.  They'll have expectations based on what's happened in the past.

So, to make sure your customers' expectations actually match what you can deliver you have to tell 'em.  And then tell 'em again what you're going to do.  And then you go out and beat those expectations so your customers are really happy.  There you are... Barney's Business Advice.

More importantly, though, I would give real money to see Nic'la on the train from Dunbar with an 8 foot real effect pine tree under her arm.