Well, me old muckers... we seem to have made it.
To the end of tax return season that is. Just a day to go until HMRC (or HM Arsey as Renee calls 'em) start levying the fines. Except they've extended the deadline by two days because of some strike or other.
Those workers should be more dog-like. I'm always on strike. Except when it's walk time. Or food time. Or play time. Or treat time.
But I'm having a bit f break whilst me humans shove off on holiday. At 3 O'Clock on Sunday morning I was rudely awakened, plonked in the back of a car and driven 400 miles to Richard's parents. I was very pleased to get there, I can tell you.
So pleased I ran right passed them into their back garden pausing only to bite the one and only bud there was on a bunch of tulips shooting out of a plant pot, knocked over the bird bath, decided I needed a drink, slurped a full bowl of water and then promptly threw up over the lounge carpet.
I may have been a little too excited.
Since then, though, I've calmed meself down and am generally taken things easy. No more being marched to the shop at 7 in the morning without a chance of slipping the ol' lead, even for a few minutes.
Nope... it's up at 8, loaf out into the garden for me morning ablutions before a leisurely breakfast and a walk with old man Lambert down to the shop for the papers. Sit outside, looking cute and get me chin scratched by the little ol' lady before heading over to the park to pretend I like chasing a ball.
It's a leisurely life for me for a couple of weeks.
It's important, I think to re-charge the batteries and I'm sure Renee will come back off her holibags fighting fit and raring to go. I'll be right behind her. About 50 yards right enough.
Monday, 30 January 2012
Wednesday, 28 December 2011
I love Christmas
I know it's been a while since me last blog so let me say, first off, 'Appy Christmas to you all...
Sorry it's a bit late but then I am a dog..
This week I thought I'd write a little bit about Christmas and what I got up to. I had a fabulous time generally loafing about and enjoying some extra long walks, which is all splendid.
It got a bit stressful yesterday, though, as me humans took me shopping along Princes Street, Edinburgh's main shopping area. To be honest Renee went shopping and me and Richard sat outside the shops waiting for her to come out... and that's the bit that got stressful.
So many people wanted to say hello to me. I even had a lady take some professional photos of me for her doggy website. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for a photo shoot but I need time to prepare mentally and physically so I can look me best. I didn't have time to ruffle me fur so I looked all windswept and ragamuffin like.
Still, I did me best and she went away happy.
If it was down to me I'd have taken more time about me shopping... maybe thought about what I needed, written a list, thought about it more, amended it, re-written it and then maybe get to the shops about mid-May time.
But, no, me humans, who ain't great shoppers, it has to be said, had to do a smash and grab raid. Although, to be fair they weren't queueing at Next's door at 6.00am in the morning!
Why the desperate rush to do their shopping?
Well, Renee is in the middle of her busiest time, apparently. Something to do with a Tax Return deadline at the end of January.
Apparently, if you have to complete a Tax Return and you haven't done it yet, you've only got a few days left... until the end of January, in fact.
And if you don't do it on time, the penalties are pretty hefty. For example, if you are 1 day late there's a fixed fine of £100. If you're 3 months then it's £100 + £10 per day up to £900. If you're 6 months late it's all of the above + £300 or 5% of the tax due, whever is higher and if you're 12 months late it's all of the above +£300 or 5% of the tax due but you may be asked to pay 100% of the tax due as a penalty!
Don't quote me on all that, though, I'm just a dog. If you don't believe me you should have a look here: http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/sa/deadlines-penalties.htm#3
Wow.
So, Renee is focussed on helping people sort out their tax returns on time, hence the flying visit to the sales. If you need help, you should come a see her... make sure you ask her to do your tax return and not your shopping, though.
Sorry it's a bit late but then I am a dog..
This week I thought I'd write a little bit about Christmas and what I got up to. I had a fabulous time generally loafing about and enjoying some extra long walks, which is all splendid.
It got a bit stressful yesterday, though, as me humans took me shopping along Princes Street, Edinburgh's main shopping area. To be honest Renee went shopping and me and Richard sat outside the shops waiting for her to come out... and that's the bit that got stressful.
So many people wanted to say hello to me. I even had a lady take some professional photos of me for her doggy website. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for a photo shoot but I need time to prepare mentally and physically so I can look me best. I didn't have time to ruffle me fur so I looked all windswept and ragamuffin like.
Still, I did me best and she went away happy.
If it was down to me I'd have taken more time about me shopping... maybe thought about what I needed, written a list, thought about it more, amended it, re-written it and then maybe get to the shops about mid-May time.
But, no, me humans, who ain't great shoppers, it has to be said, had to do a smash and grab raid. Although, to be fair they weren't queueing at Next's door at 6.00am in the morning!
Why the desperate rush to do their shopping?
Well, Renee is in the middle of her busiest time, apparently. Something to do with a Tax Return deadline at the end of January.
Apparently, if you have to complete a Tax Return and you haven't done it yet, you've only got a few days left... until the end of January, in fact.
And if you don't do it on time, the penalties are pretty hefty. For example, if you are 1 day late there's a fixed fine of £100. If you're 3 months then it's £100 + £10 per day up to £900. If you're 6 months late it's all of the above + £300 or 5% of the tax due, whever is higher and if you're 12 months late it's all of the above +£300 or 5% of the tax due but you may be asked to pay 100% of the tax due as a penalty!
Don't quote me on all that, though, I'm just a dog. If you don't believe me you should have a look here: http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/sa/deadlines-penalties.htm#3
Wow.
So, Renee is focussed on helping people sort out their tax returns on time, hence the flying visit to the sales. If you need help, you should come a see her... make sure you ask her to do your tax return and not your shopping, though.
Monday, 14 November 2011
Know why you're doing it
As a woofer I sometimes have trouble understanding you humans... I often think you could benefit from being more dog like.
You see, I know exactly why I do what I do; which is basically lying around, sleeping until someone takes me for a walk or plays with me.
But can I get me human, Renee, to see the benefits of this.
No.
She's very busy working very, very hard on her business.
And this is fine because I actually think she knows why she's doing it. I've heard her talk about her plan for the business, what she's going to do when it's finished and what she wants to do when she retires (although I think it's a little early to be thinking about retirement!)
But how many people out there really know why they are running their own busiess... I mean REALLY know why they're doing it.
Oh, I think there are plenty of people out there who have a vague notion about why they started in business. heard me other human talking about it today. He was working with a group of people new to business and they were saying things like 'I'm fed up lining other people's pockets... I want to earn money for myself' or 'I want the freedomn to come and go as I please!' Or 'I've always wanted to be self employed.'
All very good and really good reasons for starting a business... but not enough to give up being so dog-like... and often not true either.
Being a business owner often, especially in the early years, can cost and awful lot of money, particularly as the business is established. Of course, as the business flourishes financial rewards often follow... but by no means on every occasion.
But it's actually the time element which is the biggest issue. If you are starting a business to get back some of your prescious time, you need to think again.
You see, not only doyou have to do whatever it is you for your custiomers but you have to do VAT returns, admin, invoicing, payroll, paperwork, paperwork, paperwork...
Becoming self employed is like having two jobs. The one you do for your customers and the one you do to make sure the business works properly.
Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't go into business. However, I am saying you have to sort out
your reasoning for doing it. What do you want to get out of it? By when? How are you going to do it?
In this way, it's easier to deal with the really hard work that you're going to have to get into being self employed.
Or you could be more dog-like and loaf about for a bit.
You see, I know exactly why I do what I do; which is basically lying around, sleeping until someone takes me for a walk or plays with me.
But can I get me human, Renee, to see the benefits of this.
No.
She's very busy working very, very hard on her business.
And this is fine because I actually think she knows why she's doing it. I've heard her talk about her plan for the business, what she's going to do when it's finished and what she wants to do when she retires (although I think it's a little early to be thinking about retirement!)
But how many people out there really know why they are running their own busiess... I mean REALLY know why they're doing it.
Oh, I think there are plenty of people out there who have a vague notion about why they started in business. heard me other human talking about it today. He was working with a group of people new to business and they were saying things like 'I'm fed up lining other people's pockets... I want to earn money for myself' or 'I want the freedomn to come and go as I please!' Or 'I've always wanted to be self employed.'
All very good and really good reasons for starting a business... but not enough to give up being so dog-like... and often not true either.
Being a business owner often, especially in the early years, can cost and awful lot of money, particularly as the business is established. Of course, as the business flourishes financial rewards often follow... but by no means on every occasion.
But it's actually the time element which is the biggest issue. If you are starting a business to get back some of your prescious time, you need to think again.
You see, not only doyou have to do whatever it is you for your custiomers but you have to do VAT returns, admin, invoicing, payroll, paperwork, paperwork, paperwork...
Becoming self employed is like having two jobs. The one you do for your customers and the one you do to make sure the business works properly.
Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't go into business. However, I am saying you have to sort out
your reasoning for doing it. What do you want to get out of it? By when? How are you going to do it?
In this way, it's easier to deal with the really hard work that you're going to have to get into being self employed.
Or you could be more dog-like and loaf about for a bit.
Wednesday, 12 October 2011
There's a book in all of us...
Me other human, Richard, has written a book and by lucky chance, some poor, gullible publisher has published it.
Hah...
I know I'm supposed to be dead impressed and all that but, c'mon, write about something worthwhile, like... sleeping, food or sniffing another dog's unmentionables. I know... write it about how fabulous I am!
(I know he did that in last week's blog, but it was rather too tongue in cheek for my liking... and apart from that I wasn't sure I could believe him because he's always calling me names such as 'hopeless hound' and 'mutt'.
Jealousy is a cruel mistress.
But, no, he's not written his book about that sort of thing. It's what you humans call 'a thriller'. Nothing very thrilling in it if you ask me, just a load of guff about a guy who's brilliant in business but goes too far when putting a deal together. He ends up double crossing the wrong person. It turns out the man who's been double crossed is althogether too powerful and he sets about dismantling our hero's business, then his life.
It all ends with a chase across London and invloves some pretty shady deals, drugs, a bit of sex, double crosses and quite a lot of bad language. I couldn't honestly let me mum read it!
I mean, what's exciting about that?
But then, as Renee says, it takes all sorts. Whenever she's thought that something or someone wasn't quite her cup of tea but she'd got to know them, they've always been really interesting in their own way.
Now, she says, she doesn't judge anyone or anything based on what she thinks they'll be like. She takes every new client who comes in on their own merits and, on every occasion, tries to help them achieve their goals. She does this by getting to know their business and what they want from it.
It was Richard's goal to a write a book. I'm still not going to read it, though... I can't. I'm a dog.
P.S. I can't read it - but you might like to... you can get it here:
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-devils-deal/17156313
Hah...
I know I'm supposed to be dead impressed and all that but, c'mon, write about something worthwhile, like... sleeping, food or sniffing another dog's unmentionables. I know... write it about how fabulous I am!
(I know he did that in last week's blog, but it was rather too tongue in cheek for my liking... and apart from that I wasn't sure I could believe him because he's always calling me names such as 'hopeless hound' and 'mutt'.
Jealousy is a cruel mistress.
But, no, he's not written his book about that sort of thing. It's what you humans call 'a thriller'. Nothing very thrilling in it if you ask me, just a load of guff about a guy who's brilliant in business but goes too far when putting a deal together. He ends up double crossing the wrong person. It turns out the man who's been double crossed is althogether too powerful and he sets about dismantling our hero's business, then his life.
It all ends with a chase across London and invloves some pretty shady deals, drugs, a bit of sex, double crosses and quite a lot of bad language. I couldn't honestly let me mum read it!
I mean, what's exciting about that?
But then, as Renee says, it takes all sorts. Whenever she's thought that something or someone wasn't quite her cup of tea but she'd got to know them, they've always been really interesting in their own way.
Now, she says, she doesn't judge anyone or anything based on what she thinks they'll be like. She takes every new client who comes in on their own merits and, on every occasion, tries to help them achieve their goals. She does this by getting to know their business and what they want from it.
It was Richard's goal to a write a book. I'm still not going to read it, though... I can't. I'm a dog.
P.S. I can't read it - but you might like to... you can get it here:
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-devils-deal/17156313
Tuesday, 27 September 2011
Barney
Hi all... it's Richard here instead of Barney.
In fact, I've sneaked in while he's not looking (being asleep and all that) to write his blog for him this week.
Now, it's come to my attention that Barney has been blowing his own trumpet somewhat (I've read last week's blog) and I thought I'd put the record straight about that ridiculous woofer.
For a start, his ears are just hilarious, especially after they've been trimmed a bit. He looked a bit like Toyah when they were first cut now he looks like some kind of inca (except with ginger hair instead of black).
And he lies about sleeping most of the time.
And he's very annoying... no matter how far we walk him, even if it's for five hours (which we often do on a Saturday) the first thing he does when he gets home is pick up a toy and demand to be played with.
And he gets the hump, usually when he doesn't get fed roast chicken or he's not being played with or when we do housework or when we're in the office or when we go out for a drink and leave him at home or when we go away to work... in fact, he gets the hump at just about anytime.
He's a pest when we're out on a walk and won't come back because he's sniffing at another dog's whatsits. And he looks at muddy puddles, looks at us (at which point we say 'Barney... Barneeeeyyyyy, no. No, please don't do it'), looks back at the puddles and thinks, what the hell and dives right in.
He smells a bit, too.
But then a little girl in a pushchair stopped at the shop window. As usual Barney ran to the window to make a fuss of her... it was very touching to see the little girl had a cuddly toy dog with her that looked exactly like our Barney and she just wanted to show him.
Whatever he may, that ridiculous dog is ours and he's pure... Barney. We love him...
Come in to see him. He loves the attention.
In fact, I've sneaked in while he's not looking (being asleep and all that) to write his blog for him this week.
Now, it's come to my attention that Barney has been blowing his own trumpet somewhat (I've read last week's blog) and I thought I'd put the record straight about that ridiculous woofer.
For a start, his ears are just hilarious, especially after they've been trimmed a bit. He looked a bit like Toyah when they were first cut now he looks like some kind of inca (except with ginger hair instead of black).
And he lies about sleeping most of the time.
And he's very annoying... no matter how far we walk him, even if it's for five hours (which we often do on a Saturday) the first thing he does when he gets home is pick up a toy and demand to be played with.
And he gets the hump, usually when he doesn't get fed roast chicken or he's not being played with or when we do housework or when we're in the office or when we go out for a drink and leave him at home or when we go away to work... in fact, he gets the hump at just about anytime.
He's a pest when we're out on a walk and won't come back because he's sniffing at another dog's whatsits. And he looks at muddy puddles, looks at us (at which point we say 'Barney... Barneeeeyyyyy, no. No, please don't do it'), looks back at the puddles and thinks, what the hell and dives right in.
He smells a bit, too.
But then a little girl in a pushchair stopped at the shop window. As usual Barney ran to the window to make a fuss of her... it was very touching to see the little girl had a cuddly toy dog with her that looked exactly like our Barney and she just wanted to show him.
Whatever he may, that ridiculous dog is ours and he's pure... Barney. We love him...
Come in to see him. He loves the attention.
Wednesday, 14 September 2011
Doggy Cam
I always knew I was the star of the show and now my belief has been confirmed…
Me human is always thinking about how to get her message out there and she’s decided that a bit of video wouldn’t go amiss.
Now, I’m fairly sure, she’ll feature in her own video, just a little bit, but, let’s be honest, if she wants it to be a success, she’d be better having the camera concentrate on me.
After all, I have the Hollywood looks (I admit that I’m a little furrier than most Hollywood stars, but they’re all the poorer for it, I would say), I have the athletic body and I’m a much better actor than anyone I know currently on the screen.
Except maybe Jason Statham… he’s very articulate and versatile.
Anyway, me human asked Brian from Film By Numbers to put together some ideas for promoting TaxAssist Accountants on video. By far his best idea was the Doggy Cam, where you see client service from my point of view…
It got me wondering just what you might see through the doggy cam and here are my thoughts. (It would seem that not only am I a brilliant actor, I could be a hairy Martin Scorsese, too.
Shot 1: Me preparing to meet my public by having a really good clean around me unmentionables.
Shot 2: A potential client coming in to the shop and getting a really warm welcome from the team and especially me, and especially if they’ve bought a couple of doggy biscuits with them.
Shot 3: I suppose I should really let me human get her face in a shot, so how about I let her meet with the client and find out about their business? Of course, to make the shot interesting, I’ll be there, too, probably asleep under the desk.
Shot 4: The brand new client leaving the shop all happy because of the brilliant service they’ve received from me.
Shot 5: The same client coming back, just to drop their stuff in and have a chat with me, because that’s the way we work, here at TaxAssist Accountants… the door is always open and there’s always someone on hand to help.
Shot 6: Me doing work on the client’s books…
Actually, that might be a step too far… it just wouldn’t be believable. After all, I’ve got humans to do that kind of work for me and I haven’t really got the paws for typing.
Looking back on my ideas, I think we’re on to a sure fire winner here. You don’t think it’s a bit ‘me’ centric do you?
No, of course you don’t; that’s just not possible!
Me human is always thinking about how to get her message out there and she’s decided that a bit of video wouldn’t go amiss.
Now, I’m fairly sure, she’ll feature in her own video, just a little bit, but, let’s be honest, if she wants it to be a success, she’d be better having the camera concentrate on me.
After all, I have the Hollywood looks (I admit that I’m a little furrier than most Hollywood stars, but they’re all the poorer for it, I would say), I have the athletic body and I’m a much better actor than anyone I know currently on the screen.
Except maybe Jason Statham… he’s very articulate and versatile.
Anyway, me human asked Brian from Film By Numbers to put together some ideas for promoting TaxAssist Accountants on video. By far his best idea was the Doggy Cam, where you see client service from my point of view…
It got me wondering just what you might see through the doggy cam and here are my thoughts. (It would seem that not only am I a brilliant actor, I could be a hairy Martin Scorsese, too.
Shot 1: Me preparing to meet my public by having a really good clean around me unmentionables.
Shot 2: A potential client coming in to the shop and getting a really warm welcome from the team and especially me, and especially if they’ve bought a couple of doggy biscuits with them.
Shot 3: I suppose I should really let me human get her face in a shot, so how about I let her meet with the client and find out about their business? Of course, to make the shot interesting, I’ll be there, too, probably asleep under the desk.
Shot 4: The brand new client leaving the shop all happy because of the brilliant service they’ve received from me.
Shot 5: The same client coming back, just to drop their stuff in and have a chat with me, because that’s the way we work, here at TaxAssist Accountants… the door is always open and there’s always someone on hand to help.
Shot 6: Me doing work on the client’s books…
Actually, that might be a step too far… it just wouldn’t be believable. After all, I’ve got humans to do that kind of work for me and I haven’t really got the paws for typing.
Looking back on my ideas, I think we’re on to a sure fire winner here. You don’t think it’s a bit ‘me’ centric do you?
No, of course you don’t; that’s just not possible!
Tuesday, 6 September 2011
A dog of many flavours
You see, I’m a pretty perfect woofer...
I look good, I sound good and by God, I smell good.
That last bit isn’t true unless you believe the smell of river water is the equivalent Armani Pour Homme.
The point is, though, why would me owner need another dog? But then I looked around a bit and realised that me position as top dog might not be totally unassailable after all.
If she needed a dog to go really fast she could get one of those really thin dogs with a face like a dart... although there’s not much to get hold of... in fact I’ve seen more meat on a butcher’s apron... they are very fast, though, if you need a fast dog.
I have to admit, they’d probably edge it in a 100 yard dash if I challenged them to a race.
And what about if me owner wanted some serious protection. Now I’m no chicken, but I’m a lover not a fighter and I wouldn’t be much good in a dust up! But one of those huge, barrel chested mutts would... all slavering fangs and claws.
No, I thinks to meself, perhaps I need to be a bit careful...
It’s the same in a business. The business owner nearly always believes they are the best person to do everything in their business, even as it grows. The reality is, though, as their business grows there will be other people who are better suited to doing some of the tasks a business needs to be done...
For example, as a business grows admin gets more and more of a burden. Is better for the owner to do the admin or employ someone to do it whilst they go out and win more business?
Or maybe it’s the specialist jobs that need to be filled... maybe the business owner is really good at design but they need someone to go out and sell more... stuff.
Whatever.
The point I’m making is that there’s a dog for every task. The tricky bit is for the business owner to recognise there are other people about who can help them and then to let go of some of the tasks they may have thought only they can do.
I’ve recognised that I just might not the perfect woofer for every occasion, although I do still think I’m perfect for me owner.
I look good, I sound good and by God, I smell good.
That last bit isn’t true unless you believe the smell of river water is the equivalent Armani Pour Homme.
The point is, though, why would me owner need another dog? But then I looked around a bit and realised that me position as top dog might not be totally unassailable after all.
If she needed a dog to go really fast she could get one of those really thin dogs with a face like a dart... although there’s not much to get hold of... in fact I’ve seen more meat on a butcher’s apron... they are very fast, though, if you need a fast dog.
I have to admit, they’d probably edge it in a 100 yard dash if I challenged them to a race.
And what about if me owner wanted some serious protection. Now I’m no chicken, but I’m a lover not a fighter and I wouldn’t be much good in a dust up! But one of those huge, barrel chested mutts would... all slavering fangs and claws.
No, I thinks to meself, perhaps I need to be a bit careful...
It’s the same in a business. The business owner nearly always believes they are the best person to do everything in their business, even as it grows. The reality is, though, as their business grows there will be other people who are better suited to doing some of the tasks a business needs to be done...
For example, as a business grows admin gets more and more of a burden. Is better for the owner to do the admin or employ someone to do it whilst they go out and win more business?
Or maybe it’s the specialist jobs that need to be filled... maybe the business owner is really good at design but they need someone to go out and sell more... stuff.
Whatever.
The point I’m making is that there’s a dog for every task. The tricky bit is for the business owner to recognise there are other people about who can help them and then to let go of some of the tasks they may have thought only they can do.
I’ve recognised that I just might not the perfect woofer for every occasion, although I do still think I’m perfect for me owner.
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